Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa Volume 3 – Kondo Isami
CV – Inoue Kazuhiko
Ah, this isn’t the first time we’ve met in the garden. It seems like it’s been a while since I last saw you. I suppose it’s because I’ve been staying away from the quarters for a few days. I heard someone important from the Choshu was hiding in Kyoto, so I was chasing them. I finally resolved that matter and came back to the quarters this morning. Everyone said there was no need for me to get involved, but I feel as if I’ll be less capable or my instincts won’t be as sharp if I don’t do anything. Last night I got to fight for once in a while.
Oh, you don’t need to worry. I’m not hurt and no one else involved was either. Kotetsu gets upset if he can’t fight so it was difficult to hold him back.
No, I don’t mean that I can hear Kotetsu’s voice. But I know when he wants blood. Kotetsu and I strengthen our bond on the battlefield. The more I wield him, the more he trusts me and he more beautiful he becomes. Kotetsu is that type of sword. He’s lovely, isn’t he? There are plenty of beautiful swords in this world but he’s the only one that suits me this well. I have to take good care of him.
Hmm? Ah, I’m sorry! It seems like the excitement from last night hasn’t gone away. I can’t help enjoying talking about swords when that happens. I’m sorry if I scared you.
What are you doing here anyway?
You came to pick some flowers? Ah, some flowers you put in my room. I see, so you always get them from the garden. Now that you put flowers in my room, I’ve noticed that there are flowers growing all around the quarters.
Alright, today I’m going to look for flowers too! You look for some flowers to put in my room and I’ll look for some flowers to give you. Let’s see which of us can find the most beautiful flower. It’s alright to do that kind of thing sometimes, isn’t it? Right, let’s begin!
Hmm… A flower you haven’t picked before would be good. I wonder if that kind of flower grows here though.
Ah, this is… No, this is no good. It’s a dark colour which doesn’t suit her personality. Oh, this one… Yes, it’s beautiful. Alright, I’m going to pick this one!
Oh? Are you trying to pick the same flower as me? That’s no good. I found it first.
I didn’t? No, I definitely did! Look carefully. My hand is below where yours is. So this is mine.
What is this flower called? Its bright blue colour is eye-catching. It should be growing in a place where people can see it, not in this secluded place.
Oh? So it’s called the forget-me-not. Ah… I’ll remember that. It’s a beautiful flower.
Hmm? It’s out of season and it’s unusual for it to flower now? I see… I’m glad I found it then. I like this flower even more now.
By the way, why aren’t you going to move your hand? Are you still insisting that you found this flower first? Is it alright for you to touch me for so long?
I told you before. I don’t like holding back.
Or did you touch me whilst knowing that? In that case…you’re a bad girl.
Your lips are so soft. I don’t want to stop tasting your lips. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I wanted to devour your lips until you could no longer breathe.
There are so many times that I’ve wanted to make you unable to think of anyone except me. When I met you, I never thought I would have felt this way. Now I love you so much I can’t bear it. Let me kiss you even more deeply.
No matter how much I kiss you, it’s not enough. How much will I have to kiss you before this urge will go away? I really don’t know.
I love you.
This is no good. If anyone finds out, I’ll have to commit seppuku. It seems that the captain himself has broken the rules. It’s your fault, Miss. You’re the one who drove me insane. Shall we go somewhere else? To my room, where no one can see us. And we’ll stay like this the whole day.
Hmm? We can’t do that in the daytime? I see.
Then come to my room this evening. Alright? Promise me.
You’re a good girl. You kept your promise and came. Kotetsu is happy too.
Hmm? What’s the matter? Are you curious about Kotetsu?
That doesn’t matter. You’ll be unable to think soon.
Come on, come over here. I’ve been looking forward to this night more than anything. You’re good at teasing me, aren’t you?
Open your eyes.
That’s right. It’s normal to close your eyes at times like this, but I prefer kissing someone while looking into their eyes.
Look at me. You mustn’t look away.
It feels quite good to clearly see your embarrassment like this.
Ah. Why did you move away?
You’re embarrassed? It’s alright. I’m the only one who can see you.
Come here. I’ll treat you gently. All you have to do is surrender yourself to me. It’s simple, isn’t it?
Got you. You willingly came to my room. I’m not going to let you escape.
I want us to make love.
You look even more beautiful like this. Your warm skin is blushing. You look as beautiful as Kotetsu does when he’s covered in blood.
Are you dissatisfied about being compared with a sword? I meant it as a great compliment. Before it was only Kotetsu who had a place in my heart, but now he’ll share it with you. I suppose he might be jealous. I love the both of you equally. Will you be able to get on well?
Only you and Kotetsu have captivated me like this. I’m impressed.
Come on, look. He looks amazing while in his sheath, but his blade shines beautifully too, doesn’t it? When I look at your eyes, I’m reminded of that.
Ah… How beautiful… Kotetsu is as important as my life. I love you as much as Kotetsu.
Hmm? You’re not happy about that? I see. I wonder why not…
I’ll give you special permission to touch Kotetsu then. I don’t normally let other people touch him, but you can. Because you’re special to me.
Feel this cold and bewitching blade with your own hands.
Ah… This is a wonderful sight. I can’t resist.
That’s no good. You’ll get cut if you make a wrong move.
That’s right. Stay still and concentrate on me.
I’ve dreamed of doing this with you many times. The dream is very clear to me, but your gaze looking up at me, trembling lips and blushing skin are much more attractive than they were in the dream. You excite me.
Kotetsu is by your side. Looking at Kotetsu while doing this excites me. It feels amazing when your warmth is mixed with the coldness of Kotetsu’s blade.
Hmm? You’re trembling. There’s no need to be afraid. I won’t hurt you. I told you, didn’t I? I want to protect the things important to me. Kotetsu will protect you. So Kotetsu might sulk if you don’t give him as much love as I do.
How? Why don’t you hold onto him and warm him up? Kotetsu sometimes likes odd things. Come on, stay still.
You look incredibly lovely. Ah. Both you and Kotetsu are a wonderful sight.
Hmm… I’d like Kotetsu to create a flower which looks good on you. Unlike the flowers I give you, Kotetsu’s will be painful, but they won’t leave a scar, so it’ll be alright.
If only I could make a flower bloom on a sword as easily as I make them bloom on you. Kotetsu will create a mark that proves you belong to me.
Ah… I can’t imagine how beautiful it would be. I’d put the same mark on you and Kotetsu. I want to tell everyone that two beautiful things belong to me.
Hold onto me. You do your best holding onto Kotetsu. Hold onto him so you don’t get hurt. Your temperature is really high. Kotetsu feels so warm. It’s as if he’s trying to melt together with us. It’s amazing you were able to do this to Kotetsu. I’m falling more in love with you. The two of you will bloom beautifully in my arms.
Ah. Did I wake you up? Are you cold?
You think I’ll catch a cold wearing such thin clothes? Will you come close to me and warm me up then? Come over here.
You feel so warm. Let’s stay like this for a while. I wonder how many months have passed since you came to the Shinsengumi. The name of the Shinsengumi has become quite well known. I know that the future being created by the Shinsengumi is gradually beginning.
The future isn’t always bright. I’m sure some of the things we experience will be painful and difficult. But even if we feel that way, this city, the people and this era are well worth protecting. This should be a peaceful world, but Kyoto is so full of rage. Doesn’t it seem like light and darkness are existing together?
I can’t help feeling excited when I think that we Shinsengumi will protect this era and lead it to peace. I’m thankful that I was born in this era. But it’d look no good if this era suddenly came to an end despite what I’ve said.
Don’t look so surprised. What I’ve said isn’t mistaken. Everything has a beginning and an end. When this disturbance ends and peace returns to Kyoto, it may be a different era. At that time, I’d like us to welcome the new era with a smile.
I’d like to see the future, holding you like this and feeling your warmth.
But I’m sure that’s just a dream.
I like winter. The sky is clear and the stars look even more beautiful. I like seeing my breath turn white too. The piercing cold makes me feel tense and strengthens my resolve.
What resolve, you ask? Don’t you know? I’m talking about preparing myself for the end. I told you, didn’t I? Everything has a beginning and an end. I’m no exception. I don’t plan on reaching the end without being prepared.
What preparation? Right… I want to tell you. I’ve decided how I’ll use my life. Do you know how I will use it? I’ll replay my lord’s kindness with my life.  I can hear the sound of that time coming closer, hour by hour. It won’t happen just yet, but it’s not that far away either.
I’m sorry. But don’t stop me. I won’t let anyone ruin my preparation. Even if you’re the one asking me, it’s impossible. I’ll love you until that day comes though. Stay by my side with Kotetsu. I promise to love you until that moment when I bring things to an end by myself.
 This line is part of the death poem composed by Kondo.