Shinsengumi Kekkonroku Wasurenagusa 1 – Okita Souji
CV – Suzuki Tatsuhisa
It’s no good for you to lie all the time! Because you won’t honestly say you don’t need me… I’m the type of person who should be abandoned and rejected by others… I’ll make you understand that too. Hurry up and shout out loudly that you hate me.
Open your mouth. I’m going to bite that lying tongue of yours hard.
You’re scared, aren’t you? Run away if you don’t like it. I don’t mind you leaving me at all.
I can taste your blood. Your tongue hurts, doesn’t it? Hey, don’t you feel sorry for yourself? Don’t you wonder why this is happening?
You don’t like having this done to you, do you? Do you hate me now? Well, do you?!
Your clothes are ripped because I was rough with you earlier. It serves you right! Don’t you feel upset at having this done to you? Don’t you want to give up on me?
Why aren’t you answering me? I’m not going to stop just because of the way you’re acting. I’m not going to treat you kindly at all, of course. I think this is your only chance to reject me.
I don’t want to see your face.
Even in this situation, your skin looks attractive in the moonlight.
I can tell from your shoulders that you’re afraid.
You’re not saying no, but aren’t you actually really scared of what I’m going to do next? All you have to do is stop being stubborn and run away. I’m sure that things will be easier for the both of us if you do.
Right… I’m going to leave lots of marks here. I’ll make it so red that you can’t even tie up your hair.
I don’t care about causing trouble for everyone who doesn’t need me.
I was too rough and some of the marks are starting to bleed. They’re too red to be covered by make-up. This feels good. I’m going to leave scratch marks on your shoulder. You might not think that digging my nails into your shoulder is much, but the wounds I’ll leave will be deep. They’ll be painful for days on end.
Does that hurt? Of course it does. You’re still not going to run away from me? Despite how far I’m going to take my anger out on you… Don’t you want to escape from that?
You’re not going to say anything? Hmm… Then what shall I do next? Will you give up on me if I cover your pale skin with ugly scars and leave marks on your body that will never heal? Hey…
I wonder what you’re thinking while I’m touching your body while I hold you down in this pitiful state. Shall I try and guess what it is?
You think I’m a worthless man, don’t you? You bravely pretend to put up with me, but you’re actually looking down on me. I know everything. You don’t like me doing something different from usual, do you? This is just painful and frightening. So why don’t you hurry up and push me away?
Why don’t you tell me you don’t need me?
You’re not going to say it yet? I see. Then you know what I’m going to do, don’t you? I’m sure it will hurt, but you’ll still be compassionate enough to accept me, won’t you?
I see. It’s alright then, is it? I understand.
Come on, hurry up and tell me. How does it make you feel to be overpowered and forced to give into things you don’t want, while I won’t even look you in the eye?
Are you crying? You don’t have to pretend you’re not. Are you crying because it hurts? Or are you crying because you’ve had enough of me?
I don’t care either way. Even if you cry, I won’t care at all. Why don’t you just hate me instead of being stubborn?
Are you still going to say you don’t hate me? Why?
Why aren’t you fighting back, despite all I’ve done? Please stop that. Don’t accept me any longer. This wouldn’t have gone any further if you’d said you didn’t need me. I could have avoided treating you like this…
It’s always like this. No matter what I do or say to you, you never deny me. Despite all I’ve done, you still feel that you need me, don’t you?
I wonder how much easier things would have been if you’d said you didn’t need me? As long as you need me, I won’t be alone.
You really are an idiot. A complete idiot.
Did I hurt you?
I must have. You don’t have to put up with it any longer.
Just accept me like you always have.
I can still taste your blood. I bit your ear quite hard… Are you alright?
I knew it. There’s a slight cut on it. I can taste your blood here too. I’ll clean it up.
Does that tickle? Just be patient. Even a small scratch shouldn’t be left alone. I was the one who hurt you, so I’ll take responsibility and clean it up.
That’s enough, isn’t it? Next is…
Right, it’s here. Please tilt your head slightly.
I took things too far, didn’t I? I think you shouldn’t tie up your hair for a while. You won’t be able to cover these marks with your clothes, you see.
Well, I think you’d avoid unnecessary attention from other men if you did tie up your hair though. I’ll make it up to you by treating you gently. I think there won’t be another time when I treat you this kindly. Make sure to remember how I’ve treated you.
Your neck is always so slender. I used to think I could break it so easily with one hand. Even now, your neck is still as slender as before.
But now I can’t even think of taking your life with my own hands.
I would have been surprised if I had known since the first day we met that I would feel this way about you.
I can feel a little sweat on your skin. I’m going to treat you more gently.
Where would you like me to kiss you? Here? Or here?
It seems this is the right place.
I want you to cry out. Don’t hold back. Let me hear your voice.
It’s okay. Everyone is asleep. There’s no need to worry about anyone hearing you if you cry out a little. Come on, cry out even more.
You want it now? I don’t mind you begging me like this.
I know you’ll accept me without any resistance.
Amazing. It’s like you desire me so much that you can’t bear it. It seems that you’re trying to tempt me.
You really are warm. Why does my chest hurt so much when I sense your warmth?
Hey. Can I hold your hand? I want to sense you as much as possible. It seems that I can’t hold myself back any longer.
Keep calling my name in that voice.
More! More! So that I won’t forget you still need me. So that I can trust you.
You don’t need to blush so much. You’re an interesting person, aren’t you? No matter how long we stay together, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of you.
Why are you embarrassed? I wasn’t complimenting you. You see, there aren’t many women who’d work as a maid for three years and still be inexperienced as a woman, are there? It’s more than just interesting, I think it’s strange. I think it’d be difficult to get tired of someone like that. And you chose to love me, instead of Kondo-san or Hijikata-san, didn’t you? That’s unthinkable, isn’t it? I can’t understand loving someone as twisted as I am.
If I were a woman, I definitely wouldn’t choose myself. You really are strange. I’m sure you’ll continue to say you love me from now on.
I knew it. It’s strange for you to love someone hopeless like me.
I… I love you too. I don’t want to leave you.
Ah, you’re still awake. Weren’t you unable to sleep because you felt so hot after thinking about last night?
I was only joking. Are you feeling alright? I went a little too far, you see. Tell me if you’re still hurt anywhere.
You’re alright? I’m glad to hear that.
Me? I’m fine. I decided to put on some more clothes, you see. I sneaked out of my room because I felt like looking at the moon tonight.
The winter moon is beautiful, isn’t it? It casts a sharp and silvery light amidst the cold and clear air. It seems as if an infinite number of stars are shining in support of the moon too. When I look at the moon, I feel as if my heart is being cleansed. My furious feelings calm down too. If I could keep looking at this moon, I’m sure I could get by without hurting anyone.
Hey. Do you know what the polar night is? In some countries, there are times when the sun doesn’t rise for the whole day. It’s strange, isn’t it? If only that could happen here… This night would continue forever, without morning coming. Tomorrow would never arrive. If… If time didn’t pass by, then I could always be with you.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful? We could also look at the moon here forever. But there’s no way a miracle like that would happen. So I’ve decided that I’m going to leave the headquarters. I’m going to concentrate on getting better, just like Kondo-san told me to.
Why? It’s the best way, isn’t it? I know this doesn’t mean that Kondo-san thinks of me as an inconvenience.
He was worried about my illness, and he said what he did so I wouldn’t have to keep putting on a brave face. But I just couldn’t agree with that. I’m glad you’re the only one who saw me looking so shameful. I know now that no matter how pitiful I become, you won’t mind at all. I won’t doubt you again.
Alright. Now that I’ve made my decision, I’ve got to prepare my things right away.
Fortunately, I’m feeling well tonight. It seems a good idea to prepare while I can. I’ll go back to my room soon.
Eh? No, there’s no need for you to do anything. I’m just going to leave the headquarters for a little while. You stay at the headquarters and make sure to do your work. Don’t tell me that you want to follow me. I’ll be disappointed in you if you do.
It was the Shinsengumi who found you. When you think about it like that, it’s only natural for you to keep working at the headquarters to pay back your debt. My illness is nothing serious either. What I said yesterday was just another one of my bad jokes.
I’m going to get well soon and come back quickly. So quickly that you won’t even have time to feel lonely. I’m the captain of the first troop of the Shinsengumi. It’s clear that the Shinsengumi is the place I belong. There’s nowhere else for me to go.
Ah, that’s right. I haven’t acknowledged you as a maid yet. So when I get back, I’m going to see how much you’ve improved as a maid. Make sure that you’ve changed a lot before I return. Do all you can for the Shinsengumi.
What are you crying for? My goodness. You really do cry a lot.
And so, I left the headquarters. I was alone when I left the Shinsengumi, taking with me my ruined body and my spirit which had finally accepted that the fireworks had long ago faded. The residence where I went to recover was a complete contrast to the days I had spent in a busy place full of men. It was a place where the peaceful and quiet times passed by slowly.
Hijikata-san and Kondo-san, who had been with me since I was young, aren’t here. I can probably no longer follow the path they are taking. No matter how difficult it is to accept, the path I was meant to take came to an end right before my eyes. Unlike mine, the path Kondo-san and the others are on has not ended. I’m sure it will continue forever, without any end in sight.
There’s no longer anything I can do, but I wonder if Kondo-san and the others will still remember me. I wonder what they’re doing now. I’d like to send them a letter, but I’ll make them worry if I do. I mustn’t get in their way. So it’s probably best for me to stay here and do nothing.
Come to think of it, I often get letters from you. You ask how I am and tell me you want to visit me. You talk about the changes in seasons. I think you told me you learned how to fold a crane too.
That reminds me. I didn’t get to teach you how to fold a pinwheel in the end. I think that might become one of my regrets. If only I had remembered that on my last night. But I’m not going to send any letters. I don’t want to give you any false expectations.
Right… If I end up being really unable to bear it, I might just send one at the very end. But I’m sure that I won’t be able to say anything special. So I’m certain that you will never know just how much you saved me.
The time I’ve shared with you is only a fraction of the time I’ve spent with Kondo-san and the others, but I’m still grateful to you. I’m glad I met you. Thank you for loving someone like me. But I want you to find someone that cares for you more than I will. I want you to be happy.
I’m sure I’ll be very jealous. Even so, I’m sure I won’t mind if you’re smiling happily. I’ll always be with you, watching over your happiness. So farewell, until the day we can meet again.
Hello! Long time, no see.
Why are you looking at me like that? Your mouth is wide open. Why don’t you say something?
I’m sure I said that I’d come back. Did you forget? Or did you think I was lying?
No matter which one it was, I’m feeling really hurt right now. I was sure that you’d trust me and wait for me. I didn’t think you’d be looking at me like that when we saw each together again.
Now you’re going to cry? I remember you cried the last time we saw each other. What are you always feeling so unhappy about? We haven’t seen each other for a while, but all you can show the man you love is a confused look and a tearful face? Can’t you do anything else? Your heart hasn’t been stolen by another man, has it?
Come on, stop crying now. Come here. I want to hold you.
You don’t have to run to me that fast. I’m not going anywhere. I see you’re still a cry-baby. At this rate, I won’t expect you to get any better at being a maid.
Well… We haven’t seen each other for a while, so how about we take our time talking about that?
You must have gotten a little better at origami, right? Show me. If you’ve improved, I’ll teach you how to fold a pinwheel, like I promised I would. Shall we go then?
That’s right. We’ll always be together from now on.
I’m glad you finally smiled.
This is the end of volume free talk. I’m Suzuki Tatsuhisa, the voice actor for Okita Souji. Once again, I’ll be doing a free talk after the recording. I’m going to be using the dummy head mic and talking about a few things. I wonder if it might be difficult to hear though.
I’ve got a few questions here that I’m going to answer.
What are your feelings after the recording?
It was a very interesting recording. As usual, the story had a lot of content. There were moving scenes, heartbreaking scenes and some scenes that were a little naughty. On a different note, I think it was fun to do a lot of different things. Okita Souji is a famous historical figure, so I’m really honoured to give someone like that a voice. I’d like it if Okita Souji himself was satisfied, even with a situation CD like this one.
Which scene left the greatest impression?
Personally, the scene I’d most like everyone to hear is the one where Okita lost control of his emotions.
Could you say something to the character you played?
Right… Well, I’ve been in this project from beginning to end, so I’d like to say “thanks for the hard work”.
A year has passed since the recording of the previous volume, so what are your thoughts on using the dummy head mic?
The most difficult thing about using the dummy head mic is that even the sounds made by the things you wear are picked up. I usually wear accessories, but I take them all off when recording. I take off my hat too. I also put away my wallet. It’s not okay for the metal buttons on pants to make a sound either, so they all have to be fastened carefully. You have to dress more neatly than you’d think when recording. I even take off my shoes. I record without any shoes on. Now that everyone is hearing about how I dress while recording with a dummy head mic, they must think “Huh? He does the recording dressed like that? How unexciting.” But you can’t see that, so I guess it’s okay. As usual, I enjoyed recording with the dummy head mic.
Please give a message to the maidens listening.
I’d be happy if you felt that the story has developed since the previous volume while you listened. If this CD is your first time listening to this series and you are interested in the events of the previous CD, I think it’d be a good idea to listen to it. Either way, I’d be glad if something stayed in your memories after listening this far. It would make me happy if you gained something from my performance. It would be amazing if you felt moved by it. This was Suzuki Tatsuhisa, the voice actor of Okita Souji. Bye bye.