Shinsengumi Kekkonroku Wasurenagusa 2 – Harada Sanosuke
CV – Tachibana Shinnosuke
Winter, the third year of Keio. I think it was a windy day.
Hmm? What are you doing tonight? You don’t seem to be sewing.
Me? I’ve finished the night patrol and had a bath. I got a lot of blood spilled on me again.
Ah. This bandage? It’s nothing to make a big fuss of. I can move my arm without any trouble.
Your eyes are red. You should put on more clothes when you’re out in the garden in this weather, unless you want to catch a cold.
So what is it this time? What silly reason were you crying for?
Ah. You were crying about Heisuke and Hajime-kun leaving the troop, hmm? Are you so sad that you’d hide in the darkness and cry about it?
Were you in love with one of them?
I thought as much. So you’re crying like this, even though you weren’t particularly close to them.
When I see you crying like this, it tells me I’m an incomplete person who doesn’t have even a shred of humanity. Times like this make me feel even more like dying. I wonder why I’m living and searching for a reason. It’d be easier if I died right away.
What is it? You’ve got quite a troubled look on your face. It’s the first time I’ve seen you look that way.
You don’t have to be so serious about it. I just felt like saying it.
Eh? What did you just say?
Don’t die? Will you live for my sake?
I’m sure that’s what you just said.
What are you talking about? Why would you say that all of a sudden?
This is the first time someone has said that to me. You’re telling me to live for your sake, even though I’m searching for a reason to die? Would you normally say that? It’s strange isn’t it? What gave you that idea? If that’s a joke, then it’s not funny at all. If you’re serious, then you’re more than just an idiot, you’re inconsiderate too. Isn’t that right? There’s no reason for me to live for you. Of course it’s impossible.
Please stop that. Don’t look at me with such honest eyes.
It’s impossible for you to become my reason for living. That’s unthinkable. Why did you say that all of a sudden anyway? I don’t understand.
It wasn’t sudden? What are you talking about?
Before? Right… You certainly did talk to me in my room. But that was all.
I wasn’t intending on it being a particularly deep conversation. You aren’t the only person I’ve told about not crying at funerals. I’ve told Toshi-san about it and I’m sure Nagakura has also realised that I’m somewhat strange, even though I haven’t spoken to him directly about it.
What are you saying? You’ve been thinking about me since then?
What? You’ve been concerned about something we talked about a year ago for all this time?
I don’t really remember the things we talk about though. You’ve been concerned about someone cold like me this whole time? Even though using your time like that wouldn’t have any benefit. You could have just ignored and forgotten what I talked about. You’re too good-natured. I’ve never seen anyone like you. Aren’t you an idiot?
Do you understand what it means to become a reason for living for someone who wants to die? In other words, it’s the same as saying you’ll be responsible for their life.
You don’t understand what a serious and troublesome thing that is. Why are you so kind? Have I done anything to make you say that?
If you’re only saying it out of sympathy, then you should give it a second thought.
My gaze suddenly met with your honest eyes. Your eyes were still filled with tears and slightly red. But your expression seemed to hide a silent feeling, just like when you looked at me in the bamboo grove.
You stared at me amidst the howling wind and said to me in a voice that was strangely clear “You called out to me when you saw me crying. You tried to talk to me. That’s enough reason for me.”
I couldn’t look away. Your gaze effortlessly exposed my heart. Even though your gaze is not an intense one, my body feels tense when our eyes meet and I can’t look away.
Why is that? What did you mean “that’s enough reason for me”? Are you trying to say that I’m your reason for living? So you’re saying we’ll each be each other’s reason for living? I can’t believe it. What a simple thought.
You’ll be my reason for living and I’ll be yours. You seriously think that’ll make me stop wanting to die?
Fine. Then can I take things further? I might be able to accept you. But before that, let me test how much you will be able to accept me.
Take off your kimono by yourself now.
If you have the determination to do so, that is. I don’t want to force you. There’s no meaning in doing that either. So I want to confirm what your will is. You said those things in the sense that you could love me, didn’t you? In that case, show me in a way that’s easy for me to understand. I’ll be watching.
Come here. You have a slender body. Sit here.
That’s right, on my lap. I don’t think you need to be ashamed. We’re going to do even more shameful things after this. Come on, hurry up.
You’re trembling. Are you cold? Or are you scared?
We’ll stop if you find this impossible to do.
I see. We’ll start then. Just close your eyes if you feel embarrassed. I’m going to take a good look at your whole body though.
Bite my finger if you feel as if you’re going to cry out. Come on, keep my finger in your mouth. Make sure no one in the next room hears you.
You’re nervous aren’t you? Your skin is cold and your body is tense. That’s no surprise. But I suppose that won’t mean anything when this is over.
You aren’t certain that you love me yet, are you? I know that much.
Ah, I’m not really blaming you. But you’ve got that expression on your face. Even though you’re not sure whether you love me, you can still accept this kind of thing. I just thought it was unusual. I like that kind of thing. It doesn’t matter if you only start to love me now. I think I might be able to start too.
Did I surprise you? I thought it might make you a little less nervous.
Hey. You’re not putting all your weight on my lap, are you? Why are you holding back?
You’re heavy? You know… A slender girl like you hardly weighs anything at all.
Sit properly instead of complaining.
That’s right. You don’t need to be considerate about strange things like that. Look up this way.
Your lips are really soft. I’m going to kiss you again.
You’re clumsy, aren’t you? I’ll keep going until you get used to this.
Alright. One more time.
You’re breathing harder. Are you holding your breath?
Ah, I see. Do you want me to teach you a technique for breathing?
I’m not going to tell you. Think about it yourself.
You look uncomfortable. Seeing your face like that turns me on quite a lot. I thought I wasn’t into this kind of thing, but I enjoy seeing you uncomfortable.
Open your mouth wide.
Your body feels warmer. Are you more relaxed now?
I see. Then I’m going to keep going. You don’t seem like you can sit much longer. Lie down then.
Hmm… When I look down on you like this, you really are a woman. Your body is slender, but I don’t mind that. Your skin is smooth and touching it feels good. It reminds me of fresh snow.
I’m going to lick you here. Stay still even if it tickles. You’ll get used to it eventually. Put up with it. That’s right.
Well, I might not love you, even after all this. What if I don’t become attached to you at all? Will you give up then?
You’ll do your best? That’s somewhat better than a response with unfounded confidence. And unlike your appearance suggests, you’re a determined person. You’re lasting longer than I am. Idiots can sometimes be so confident.
For your information, I think this will only be trouble. I haven’t loved anyone else before. So in order to make up for that, I might feel an incredible desire for you. It’s only a guess, but I think I’ll be proven right soon enough. Isn’t that a serious thing?
You don’t mind that? Can you really accept me completely?
You’re right. That’s why I’m confirming it like this.
Alright then. I’m going to prepare myself too. When this is over, I’ll do my best to love you too. I’m not sure how to do that, but I promise I will. I’ll try my best.
Keep your voice down. Don’t get anymore tense.
You’re a beautiful colour there.
That’s an amazing reaction. You’re wonderful. It’d be even better if we got on well until the end.
You have a beautiful body. It’s unfortunate that it’s usually covered by a kimono. Let me see it more clearly.
Let me touch your hair. I’ve always thought your hair was beautiful. I thought it’d feel good if I immersed my hands into it.
You didn’t realise? Of course not. Unlike you, I don’t show my thoughts on my face.
I don’t want anyone knowing what I’m thinking. But you can sometimes be pretty sharp. It makes me worry. Did you realise that?
That blank stare on your face is amazing. Well, that makes you yourself. Come on, open your mouth again.
You still can’t breathe properly?
Ah, don’t open your eyes. Stop looking at me.
Why? Your eyes are so honest, it makes me nervous. I feel as if they’ll draw out something that I’m not aware of from within me.
It’s no good. I’m afraid. I don’t want to see a part of myself that I’m not aware of. So I was actually a little afraid to do this with you.
Right. Let me blindfold you. Then you won’t be looking at me.
Hmm? You don’t like that?
Oh… You’re not going to do as I say? So you won’t be able to love me after all?
I see. It’s fine if that’s not the case. Doing this might actually make things more enjoyable for you. Tell me if it’s too tight.
It’s fine? I see. Alright, I’m going to start again.
Just sense me with your ears and skin. Right… If you’re scared, you can either put up with it or run away if you can’t. Do what you want.
I’m afraid too. I haven’t even considered loving someone. I don’t know what’ll happen to me from now on.
That’s a good reaction. Even you know too, right? This is even more amazing.
Hey. I’m going to touch you. Relax.
You feel so warm.
I understand. I’ve accepted your feelings.
I should apologise for not trusting you. I’ll apologise if that’s what you want. Because I understand that, at the very least, you feel something that resembles love for me.
Hmm? What is it? You’re scared because you can’t see? But I feel afraid when you’re looking at me. Put up with it. Come on. I’m going to do this. It might be even more painful though.
Are you feeling a little calmer now?
Hey. I want to make a promise with you. I want something between you and I, something that is definitely possible to believe in. I’ve never asked anyone something like this before, but I might be able to make a promise with you.
Hey. Promise me. I’ll make sure to kill you when you want to die. So promise me the same thing.
That’s right. A promise between just the two of us. You and I.
I see. Thank you.
I wonder why I actually want to see your face.
I’m feeling confused too. I don’t usually act like this, but since you’ve really made me a promise…
I can’t believe I’m doing something so simplistic. I made a fool of you, but I might actually be quite foolish too.
I’ve worked up quite a sweat.
Are you tired?
Me? Not really. If you say you’re fine…
Ah, I see. Hmm, that’s too bad. Well, I can let you off for today then. Just for the first night.
Hmm? Why are you surprised? You love me, don’t you? You’ve got to try your best to keep up with me then. It’s not as if I don’t have desires like this. My apathy is a different matter. If you keep up with me, I’ll whisper “I love you” to you every night.
You’re blushing far too much, aren’t you? How can you be blushing even more than before?
If I keep saying it every night… Well, the first time I say it I might not be honest, but it’ll gradually become the truth. You won’t mind whether it is or not, will you? You don’t look as if you’d be bothered by small things like that.
Ah, I am complimenting you. So I’ll whisper to you “I love you”.
I hope that will happen. I’m sure that I can love you.
For a while after that, the time I spent with you passed by peacefully. I suppose that I found that time enjoyable.
Ah, so this is where you were? I’ve been looking for you.
Hmm? I wanted to talk to you. If I don’t spend more time with you like this, I won’t be able to love you, will I?
Eh? Ah… That’s right. I came to talk to you like this yesterday, the day before and the one before that. What about it?
A problem? Why?
I’ve never been told that the soldiers and maids aren’t allowed to talk to one another.
The problem is that I’m doing it too often? Is that so? That wasn’t my intention. Am I standing out that much?
Oh? Is that so? I didn’t realise. I wonder why not. It wouldn’t particularly bother me if anyone found out about our relationship. The regulations certainly are troublesome though. Right now, I’m not even considering trying to disembowel myself again.
I accepted that the Shinsengumi regulations meant I might face death as a punishment, but now my aim is to get you to love me. Now there are times when I feel as if I want to avoid dying. It’s the first time I’ve felt this way.
Why are you smiling? It’s somewhat annoying. It’s best for you to be lying underneath me with a hurt expression on your face.
Ouch! What are you doing? I was completely serious. Would you normally hit someone at a time like that? Are you doing that even though you know what’ll happen to you tonight?
It’s too late to look at me like that. Well, you can look forward to it. You’ve annoyed me, so I’m going to blindfold you again.
Alright, I’m going out on patrol. Make sure to finish your work by evening. For once I’d like to relax somewhere with no one else around, so let’s go and take a walk somewhere.
Alright, see you later.
Eh? Ah… You’re talking about me evading attacks at the very last moment.
Alright. If you dislike it so much, then I’ll give it some proper thought. But coming back injured and having you take care of me isn’t so bad.
Alright, alright. I understand. See you tonight.
It’s been a while since we’ve taken a walk at night. I was always taking my spear out on patrol or keeping watch. Wandering around for no particular reason like this isn’t too bad. Strangely enough, I don’t get bored when I’m with you, no matter where I am. It really is strange.
How about you? I’m not sure yet, but are you in love with me?
Why? Hmm… Is simply spending time with someone else enough to make feelings change? I really don’t understand it. I wonder what I actually think of you. Perhaps I’m more interested in you than before because I’m trying to love you. Is this love? What do you think?
Right… It might be good for us to spend more time together and understand each other better.
Yes. You’re right. I think something might happen if I spend time with you like this. I never thought there would be a day when I didn’t know my own feelings. It’s amazing that you’re able to make me feel like this.
Then that night came. That long, long night.
The wind feels good, doesn’t it? This season is best for walking around at night. It’s cool and you won’t get tired, even if we walk a long way.
Why are you embarrassed? I don’t think I said anything unusual. You’re strange.
How far shall we walk today? If you don’t mind, we’ll go as far as that mountain. But the moon isn’t out tonight, so it’d be better not to go too far. We can’t see very well.
Who’s there? That crest is… The ones from that rundown house… Are you the remnants? Or something else? No matter who you are, I suppose you’ve come for revenge.
Don’t leave my side. Keep close to my back.
I wish you’d shown up during my patrol. It’s a little troublesome for you to come after me when I’m not carrying my spear. I’m not that good at fighting with a sword. But I’m much stronger than all of you.
You’re weak. All of you are weak! Hurry up and die!
It’s no good surrounding me. I’m going to cut all of you down. Die! Die! Die…
Ah! Where are you going? I’m your opponent, aren’t I? Stop!
It can’t be… This can’t be happening…
Hey! Open your eyes! Look at me! Can you hear me?
Hey… Why is this…
You’re not going to die, are you? I’m sure you promised me…
That I’d kill you when you wanted to die. So you can’t die without my permission. You promised me.
Hey. Isn’t that right? You’re not telling me you’ve forgotten, are you?
So… Why are you lying here covered in blood like this? Stop. Tell me it’s not true.
Finally… My boredom had finally begun to fade.
The dull landscape had started to become colourful around you. Is that what it means to enjoy something?
I finally believed that living was actually something positive. I began to think that I might love you. Why…
Stop! Don’t close your eyes! Look at me! I won’t blindfold you again! I won’t ever say I’m scared to have you look at me.
Hey! Open your eyes!
Please stop. Don’t die.
No! Don’t go. Don’t die. I’m begging you.
Why? Even though I’m begging you…
No! Don’t go!
No! I said don’t go! Don’t leave me alone!
Everything lost its colour once more. This landscape that stretches out before front of me feels like dust.
You’re no longer here. So I no longer have any use for this world.
You became my reason for living. At the same time, it seems you also became my reason for dying. I’m sure you didn’t realise that though.
Hey. Do you understand? Your absence is enough of a reason for me to die. You’re everything to me. So I think this world I’m living in can’t be real.
I’m going to destroy this landscape completely. This meaningless landscape where you don’t exist is worthless. Everyone who led to your death should just die.
Die. Die! Die! Die!
After I kill everyone I despise and watch this landscape fall apart, I’ll take my own life and go to where you are. So wait for me until then.
You might feel a little lonely, but I’ll certainly be there. I’ll make my feelings clear the next time we see each other. I won’t hide anything from you. I’ll look at you directly and tell you. So wait for me. You’re more important to me than anything else.
Whether I live or die, my love will always be yours. See you later. I love you.
Hello. I’m the voice actor for Harada Sanosuke and the lover of everyone’s ears, Tachibana Shinnosuke. Whenever I use a dummy head mic, I often play around with it like this. Is this okay? I’m going to keep going like this.
What are my thoughts about the recording? I want to stop this. It’s making me dizzy. As for my answer to the original question, I’m feeling like “it’s really over now”. I talked a lot. I really did. I did my best.
When I got the script from my agency, the first thought I had was “has there been some kind of mistake?” I thought “isn’t this enough to fill two CDs?” Working on two CDs is tough for both the voice actor and the editors. I’d be happy if everyone listening really enjoyed it. I thought it was a very interesting story.
I suddenly had the thought “is anyone starting to listen to the CD from here?” There might be some girls listening to this before the main story. Hey, you! Raise your hand if you’re here! You can’t listen to this, because I’m going to talk about the scene which left the greatest impression next. There’ll be spoilers. You don’t want spoilers, right? Those people should listen to the main story once and then come back to this.
For me, the scene which left the greatest impression was when the heroine died. It was the scene where Sanosuke, who doesn’t really show his feelings, became the most emotional. I’ve heard that this is the first time the heroine has died. What about the previous stories?
So it started with this volume? I see. When they listen for the first time, some people might think “Hey! She died!” and be really surprised. Rather than a tragic love story, I’d say it was a story that left a great impression. I’d be happy if you listened to that part too.
Were there any similarities between Sanosuke and I? Hmm… I see… Well… I suppose I’m similar in the aspect that I want to live my life without having too much contact with others. He seems similar to the way I was in the past. I think he is quite like how I was as a student, before I came a voice actor.
Do I have a favourite member of the Shinsengumi? The proper answer would be to say “Harada Sanosuke”, wouldn’t it? I don’t have to be that considerate though. I actually like Yamanami Keisuke the most. I’m unexpectedly enthusiastic about him.
During the time of the Bakumatsu , Sengoku era  and the Three Kingdoms , most people favoured strength, but I would have to say I favour intelligence. Yamanami-san united the troops and was the type to do things resourcefully.
I think the concept of people giving up their lives to abide by the Shinsengumi regulations is an interesting one. A story that involves death, like Sanosuke’s story, is a really moving one.
We’re almost at the end. How did I feel using the dummy head mic? I feel like it’s been a while since I used one. But it always has such an unsociable look on its face. It really does. I’d be happy if there was a dummy head mic in the form of a friendly girl.
As a final message, I’d like to thank you for listening until now. We have worked hard on this CD, so we’d be happy if you listened to it again and again. I’ll be waiting to hear your thoughts. Thank you! This was the voice actor of Harada Sanosuke and lover of your ears, Tachibana Shinnosuke. Let’s meet again. Bye bye!
 Bakumatsu – The final years of the shogunate being in power, around 1853-1867.
 Sengoku – A period of almost constant military conflict, which lasted from the 15th century up until the 17th century. Well known leaders during this time include Oda Nobunaga and Tokugawa Ieyasu.
 Three Kingdoms – The Three Kingdoms period is an era of Chinese history which lasted from 220-280AD. Its name refers to the three most powerful states during that time: Wei, Shu and Wu.