Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa 4 – Toudou Heisuke
CV – Shimono Hiro
So this is where you were. What are you doing here?
You were watering the flowers?
Ah… You help out here sometimes because you haven’t got much to do.
Oh… The other men gave me something just now. They’re bean-jam wafers from a shop that’s gotten popular recently. You want some too?
Ah, I’m okay! Come on, eat up. I had one earlier and they’re good. You like sweet things, don’t you?
Come to think of it, we sat together and ate bean buns like this once. It was night and we were at the headquarters though. Relaxing and looking at the scenery with someone else is more interesting than you’d think.
I haven’t really thought “I want to show someone else this scenery” or “I want to eat this with someone else” before, but there are a lot of things I’d like to share with you. I felt the same way when I got given these sweets. The happy look on your face was the first thing that came to mind. I normally would’ve eaten them all by myself. I remembered how happy you looked while you were eating.
What is it?
You’re wondering why I haven’t come closer and teased you like I always do? You dummy, I’m not going to do that.
Hmm? I’ve been acting differently recently?
You mean there’s something else that’s changed about me?
I see. I suppose you would understand.
Jeez. I wonder how you got so perceptive.
Because you’ve always been by my side watching me, hmm?
Is it alright if I ask you something strange?
What do you think dying feels like?
When I kill someone, I think about whether they had someone important to them. Whether there’s someone who’ll end up lonely when that person dies. Whether that person important to them will forget them.
Hey. Do people feel pain or suffering when they die? Don’t people who die look quite calm? I think that might be because their death had meaning…
I felt as if I’d like to die that way too.
But I’m sure I’ll…
Dying for the sake of the Shinsengumi would make me satisfied.
I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid that I’ll end up being forgotten by everyone.
Never mind! That’s enough about that!
These taste really good!
Why are you staring at me?
There are crumbs on my face?
I can’t help it. That’s just what happens when you eat bean-jam wafers.
You don’t have to wipe them away! I can do it myself!
Hey… What do you think of me?
Well… You know what I mean!
You like me?!
You’re strangely bold sometimes.
I see… You like me, huh.
Don’t do anything like holding hands with the other soldiers, alright?
You can’t go shopping in town with them either!
I’ll go with you if you have to run any errands there. Got it?
Make sure to keep that promise. No matter what!
Don’t be alone with other men either.
Why? Because it’s dangerous!
Do your best to avoid giving the others special attention too!
It’s been a long time since we came to Edo, but we’ve gathered quite a few soldiers. We’re got a few more than what we planned for too. We’ll be able to give Hijikata-san and the others some good news when we get back to Kyoto. You’ll be leaving here tomorrow too, so pack up your things. It’ll be another long journey, so try not to carry too much.
So these peaceful days are over now?
Hey. Will you come to my room? This is our last night in Edo. Let’s look at the moon while drinking some tea.
Ah, thank you.
We might not have time to relax and drink tea together like this when we get back to Kyoto.
Hmm? You’re kind of sad?
The moon looks beautiful. It’s like the first time I saw the moon with you. A moon that looks like a bean bun.
I wonder why… On nights when the moon looks like the one we saw that night, the nights here seem more beautiful than the ones in Kyoto, even though you’re beside me, just like you were then. Even the sounds of the insects make me feel as if I’m going to cry. I wonder why everything looks so brilliant just because you’re beside me.
Come closer. Your hair is in the way. Let me see your face a little more.
I love you.
Is a kiss really something you’d want to keep doing like this?
I… I might really be acting strangely after all…
What would you do if I died?
Would you live alone forever? Would you kiss another man like this? Would you forget about me? Well? Would you?
Would you forget about me? Would you forget about me and love another man?
I won’t allow that to happen.
Come on. I’ll teach you even more about me. I’ll teach you everything about me.
Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you.
Or was I wrong to think that you feel the same way as I do?
Hey. You said you liked me, didn’t you? Isn’t that right?
Tell me one more time. What do you think of me?
I’m glad. You really do care about me too.
Then please accept me. So my existence will always remain within you. Please keep my heart with you. Then you’ll still be mine, even after I’m gone, won’t you? Isn’t that right?
Hey. Touch me so you’ll never forget. So you can remember it again and again.
Can I untie your sash? I want to hold you properly.
Your heart is beating really fast. I’m your first, aren’t I?
That’s fine. Once you know my body, you won’t need to know another man.
Untie my sash too. Don’t be embarrassed.
Hmm? What is it? Is it your first time seeing a man’s body like this?
Look carefully. Don’t look away. Touch me.
Come on. Hold out your hand.
Touch me like this. Touch me more.
Hey. What do you think of me? Am I the right man for you?
I… I want everything that holds your heart.
Put your arms around my neck. Hold on tight so you don’t let go of me.
Put out your tongue even further. Confuse me even more with your kiss.
Your eyes are filled with tears. You look so beautiful.
So even your face has a shameful expression sometimes.
I never get tired of kissing you. I could kiss you again and again…
There’s saliva on your lips.
Hey. Try and touch my chest.
Give me your hand.
I should be used to being with a woman, but my heart is beating so loudly that I can’t bear it.
You’re beautiful. When our bodies touch like this, I’m completely aware of your warmth. You feel a little cooler than me. If we keep doing this, I feel as if the warmth of our bodies will be the same.
Doesn’t it feel good to share each other’s warmth?
Hey. Remember my body. My temperature. My breath. Everything.
My voice is different from how it usually is, isn’t it? I won’t let anyone except you hear this voice from now on. This voice is only meant for you.
I love you. I love you.
Tilt your head to one side.
Those red marks really show on your skin.
If I do this, it’ll prove you’re mine and I’ll be satisfied.
Can I mark you with even more proof that we spent the night together?
I want to leave my mark on you until it reaches your heart.
Since I realised I was in love with you, I’ve begun to find even little things are important.
For the first time I saw the moon with someone else, I thought it was beautiful. I’m really happy when I think of you. But I feel somewhat hurt too. I feel as if I’m about to cry.
Are you crying?
I see. Your heart hurts when you think of me too.
I’m glad. We’re the same, aren’t we? You and I.
I like the sound of your voice. I’m the only one who can hear that voice, aren’t I? I might really kill you if you let someone else hear it.
I want to control you completely. What should I do?
Hey. What should I do?
Your body feels warm. Are you excited about being touched by me?
You’re lovely. It’s lovely to see you trembling at a feeling you’re not used to.
You kiss me too. Won’t you make me more aware of your feelings?
Even if we kiss like this, it’ll only take a single step for you to go further away. Come even closer to me.
Hey. We should be able to become even closer than this, shouldn’t we?
It’s no good. More.
No matter how much we kiss, it’s not enough. It really isn’t enough.
The crazier I am about you, the more I don’t know what to do.
How can I make sure you’re all mine?
How can I make sure I’ll never disappear from your memories, not even for an instant?
Hey. What should I do?
Hold onto me even more tightly! Remember my body which could disappear at any time!
That’s right. Touch me with your hands. Not just there. Here too.
That’s right. Touch me even more. I don’t want to forget my time with you before I die.
My body is getting warm again. It shows that I love you so much I can’t bear it.
Kiss me again. It’s not enough at all. More! Tell my body everything about you!
Please! Keep me inside of you forever, even after I’m gone.
Loving someone is difficult. It seems that the only person I’m able to see is him.
I just keep thinking what will happen to you when I’m gone. It drives me insane.
Will you sleep with me? Just for tonight.
Hey. Can I hold your hand?
I feel calm when I’m touching your hand.
I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I hope I can hold your hand in my last moments too. I think I’d be able to rest peacefully if I did.
Look at me.
I love you.
I feel like the wind in Kyoto is a little different to the wind in Edo. Our days have been quite busy since we came back. The atmosphere has changed quite a lot in the short time we were away too.
A brave man made a pledge of loyalty to the Emperor for seven generations and kept his pledge. 
Hmm? Ah… It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. It’s not important.
But I’ve been thinking recently if this is where I should be. There are more soldiers in the Shinsengumi now, aren’t there? Now that there are more soldiers and the organisation has grown, differences in opinion are even clearer. We had the same ideals to begin with, but since fighting together as the Shinsengumi, everyone has changed little by little. In the end, the Shinsengumi are being divided. So we won’t be able to help Japan if we don’t deal with the root of the problem.
The way the Shinsengumi is now was all Hijikata-san’s idea. He has his own plans. But it feels like he’s different to how he was before. But I swore on this sword that I’d help lead the Shinsengumi. What if I had to betray my feelings?
Even I had a certain amount of determination to follow Hijikata-san when I came to Kyoto.
As I am now, I’m sure I won’t be able to betray my feelings and fight with my allies.
Even so, I believe that the path I’m taking has to be right.
Why are you looking at me like that? It’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m just going to keep being true to myself, that’s all.
You don’t need to worry.
Come on, come closer.
I said I’d protect you no matter what, didn’t I? I’ll never betray you. Trust me. Even if I disappear from your sight, never forget that I existed and that there was someone who loved you.
Don’t look at me like that! I was just talking about what might happen.
Come on, smile! I like it most when you’re smiling.
There you go! Your face looks so funny!
That’s right. Keep smiling like that.
Look at me.
Let my name be the only one your lips call. Got it?
Okay, good girl. I’ll give you another reward.
I love you. I’ll always love you from now on.
If someone saw us doing this at the headquarters, I’d have to commit seppuku.
Right, it’s almost time to eat!
What are we eating today?
Huh? Not roast fish again!
Oww! Fine, I get it! I won’t complain!
You haven’t changed at all since we first met.
Ah. Look, someone’s calling you.
You’d better get going.
Jeez. She really is a tough girl.
For a little while after that, I gazed at the endless blue sky.
I wondered whether I could reach that endless place.
The injury I got at the Ikedaya had healed at some point. My body kept on living, as if it were telling me to walk.
It was telling me to live.
Even the wound which has always been in my heart might heal if you’re with me. It really does feel good to have someone who believes in me. Even if that means having to bear a great burden, I’ll think of it happily.
As usual, the clouds drift across the sky and scatter everywhere. The flower in full bloom will eventually fall to the ground and return to the earth. I wonder whether the same thing will happen to me. I wonder if I’ll end up rushing towards death and disappearing suddenly at some point.
If that’s the case, then I’ve got to treasure every second. I’ve got to imprint my will in the instant that I lower my sword.
What can I do for Hijikata-san? For the Shinsengumi? For you?
No matter how much they think about it, no one will be able to tell me the right answer,
In that case, I’ve got to choose the path I take by myself. I’m going to be true to myself. I believe that will help the Shinsengumi. A weak person like me would probably run away if they were alone. That’s why I’m going to join hands with you and rely on your smile.
Hey. I feel as if I can become really strong if I’m with you. As long I’m alive… No… Even when my life comes to an end, I promise to protect you.
Don’t ever forget me, even if I disappear all of a sudden. I’ll live forever inside of you. I love you. I’ll always love you from now on.
 These are said to be Toudou Heisuke’s last words.
Yay! This is the end of CD free talk!
Hello! This is Shimono Hiro, the voice of Toudou Heisuke! Yay!
The recording has just finished! Yay!
Now that it’s over I’m strangely excited! Yay!
Please give your thoughts on the recording.
It was amazing. I was so surprised.
Surprised about what? Hmm…
There’s also a question about what it felt like to record with a dummy head mic, and I’ve got a similar answer to that question. I haven’t used a dummy head mic for so long in one go. I’ve used a dummy head mic quite a few times, but I think I haven’t been face to face with one for this amount of time. This was probably the longest recording I’ve done. I could feel my senses gradually heading in a strange direction. That probably sounds confusing!
Now that it’s over, I feel incredibly energetic! I don’t understand the direction I’m going in at all. Is it okay for people to hear this? Don’t get confused, everyone.
That’s how I feel right now. I’ll try and control myself a little more. Anyway, I had fun recording this CD. What did you think?
There are a few other questions, so here I go!
What did you think of recording with the dummy head mic?
I talked about this in my previous answer, right?
Do you have any similarities with Heisuke?
Hmm… I wouldn’t say that he seemed shallow… Well, I’m not sure this is alright to say, but to be honest, he had a mischievous way of approaching others. I’m not like that. But I can still understand the mischievous feeling in those scenes. He would do really silly things in the serious scenes.
When recording anime, there are rehearsals before the actual recording. After the rehearsal recording is over, there’s often a moment of silence. I feel like shouting out “WAAH!” during those moments. You were surprised just now, right? Sorry for doing that so suddenly.
Right now I’m feeling excited enough to do things like that! I think I’m similar to Heisuke in that sense. What do all the listeners think?
Do you have a favourite member of the Shinsengumi?
Hmm… Ah… I’m not familiar enough with the Shinsengumi to have an immediate answer. But I’ve just played Heisuke… And I was Hijikata Toshizo on stage once… My Hijikata wasn’t very Hijikata-like though. So I’ve got a certain attachment to those two from playing them. Hmm… I don’t feel as if I put enough thought into my answers…
But it’s possible to like a character because of the impression that character and their name have. Hijikata Toshizo! Toudou Heisuke! It’s all about the way you say it.
Finally, please give a message to the maidens who are listening.
Calling the listeners “maidens” actually makes me nervous. I feel like I’ve got make sure not to say something wrong. Like I shouldn’t say something without thinking carefully. Because they’re “maidens”.
Hmm… I thought I’d say something interesting about “maidens”, but I’m sorry I was unable to. Okay, I’m going to do this seriously now!
I had a difficult time during both the dummy head mic and normal recording. I personally felt a connection with Heisuke’s suffering. It’d make me happy if you enjoyed this CD and listened to it again.
As I said earlier, I recorded some very long scenes with the dummy head mic, so if you happened to listen to this CD without headphones, I think it’d be good to listen again with headphones.
So what did you think of this CD? I’d be happy to hear your thoughts in a fan letter.
That’s all for today. This was Shimono Hiro, the voice of Toudou Heisuke.
Let’s meet again! Bye bye!
I wonder where we’ll meet next?