Cast:
Suzuki Tatsuhisa
Tachibana Shinnosuke
Inoue Kazuhiko
Hosoya Yoshimasa
Shimono Hiro
Maeno Tomoaki
Takahashi Naozumi
Morikawa Toshiyuki
Shinsengumi Kekkonroku Wasurenagusa Animate Tokuten
Heisuke: It’s so hot!
Heisuke: There’s still a little while until dinner, right?
Sano: I lose all my strength when it’s hot.
Sano: I’m sleepy.
Shinpachi: Hey, let’s rest until dinner. Toshi-san and Kondo-san probably won’t be coming back yet.
Heisuke: I’m in!
Heisuke: Somewhere cool…
Heisuke: Ah, how about the veranda?
Sano: There’s not much wind coming in though.
Sano: Well, isn’t fine as long as we’re out of the sun?
[01:12]
Shinpachi: Whew! I’m tired.
Shinpachi: Why are you cuddling up to me, Heisuke?!
Heisuke: I’m not!
Shinpachi: I’m so sleepy.
Heisuke: Goodnight then.
Shinpachi: Goodnight.
[02:08]
Kondo: This is a host club where eccentric individuals gather. Its name is Wasurena. The hosts, who are here partly for their own enjoyment, entertain the female customers somewhat. Don’t expect too much.
Kondo: Come here. I’ll show you to where everyone is. Take my hand.
Everyone: Welcome!
[03:04]
Kondo: Well then, let me introduce our hosts. I’ll prepare some catchphrases to make them easier to remember.
Kondo: First of all, the unreasonable and self-centred Okita Souji!
Heisuke: Not one of those things are compliments!
Okita: Thank you very much. You really do understand me, Kondo-san.
Heisuke: Why are you so happy?
Okita: I’m really happy that Kondo-san gave me a name.
Heisuke: Huhhhh?!
Kondo: I’m glad you like it.
Kondo: Next up is the Pheromone Man who can even make a crying girl quiet, Hijikata Toshizo!
Hijikata: Pheromone Man? It’s not bad.
Shinpachi: Hijikata-san’s hipline certainly does draw attention.
Hijikata: It’s all thanks to my daily training. You should try to get a bottom like mine too.
[04:02]
Shinpachi: No, I’m fine with just touching them.
Kondo: And now we have the exhibitionist who is covered in injuries, Yamazaki Susumu!
Yamazaki: I’m not an exhibitionist! I’ve explained many times before, these clothes are specially made to be easy to move around in…
Okita: They’re made for exhibitionists, aren’t they?
Kondo: Shall we go to the next host?
Yamazaki: Ignoring me is just cruel!
Kondo: Next to Yamazaki is the man who wears an eyepatch because he feels like it, Saito Hajime!
Heisuke: You were only wearing that eyepatch because you wanted to?!
Saito: It’s my way of being fashionable.
Okita: Is that so? You’ve got quite embarrassing fashion sense, haven’t you?
Saito: What?!
Kondo: Next up is the youthful man who admires flirtatious guys, Toudou Heisuke!
Heisuke: I don’t even know where to start with that!
Yamazaki: I don’t think there’s anything to disagree with.
Heisuke: When did I get made out to have that kind of personality?
Kondo: Then we have our new recruit, the suicidal berserker, Harada Sanosuke!
[05:05]
Shinpachi: Isn’t a berserker…an insane warrior?
Sano: Is that so? I don’t hate it.
Heisuke: Huh? Are you delusional?!
Kondo: Last of all is our number one host, The Walking Emperor of Sexual Harassment, Nagakura Shinpachi!
Shinpachi: That’s so mean, Kondo-san. Isn’t that an insult?
Sano: Of course someone would say that when you give every single woman flirtatious looks.
Shinpachi: I’m not giving anyone flirtatious looks! They’re the ones who approach me.
Kondo: You mustn’t fall for him. I’ve seen plenty of women end up ruined after he dumped them.
Shinpachi: But none of them were my type. I’d be interested in you though. Will you have my children?
[06:02]
Sano: He winked… That was bold.
Kondo: Those are the hosts of Wasurena.
Kondo: By the way, I’m Isami, a host and the owner of this club. Pleased to meet you.
Hijikata: Don’t you have a catchphrase, Kondo-san?
Saito: It’s “Kotetsu is my fetish”, right?
Kondo: How do you know that?!
Yamazaki: I wonder how…
Kondo: Have you remembered everyone’s names?
Kondo: Alright, let me show you to your seat. Come this way, Miss.
Kondo: There aren’t any other customers today because of the bad weather. So we’ll take turns to entertain you. It’s a luxury you don’t get often, so enjoy yourself as much as you can.
Kondo: I’ve got other preparations to be doing, so I’ll see you later.
[07:30]
Heisuke: Ah, let me sit down next to you.
Sano: Hey, you. You’re in the way. Go over there. There’s no room for us to sit.
Heisuke: Huh?
Sano: Why are you sitting in the middle of the sofa so confidently? Isn’t that arrogant of you?
Yamazaki: Sorry! He’s a little strange.
Heisuke: That’s right! Stay there and don’t worry about him.
Heisuke: The customers normally sit in the middle, Sano-san! We learned that before, right?
Sano: Is that so?
Yamazaki: Would you like something to drink? We’ve got all kinds of soft drinks and alcohol. But I think peach juice would suit someone cute like you.
Heisuke: Peach? What gave you that idea?
[08:21]
Yamazaki: Hmm? I’m talking about her overall aura. I’ve thought that way since she got to the club. Don’t her soft and pink cheeks look like a peach? I’m sure they’d be sweet if I tasted them. Ah… I want to kidnap her away somewhere. I want to keep her to myself.
Yamazaki: Ah, one peach juice, please!
Sano: Doesn’t your pay get cut for making perverted statements like that?
Yamazaki: Eh? Perverted? Why?
Heisuke: You’re not even aware of it?!
Heisuke: Hey, just say something if you’re bothered, alright? Otherwise he’ll go out of control.
Sano: It’s better if Yamazaki-san doesn’t end up liking you. You’ll get stalked.
Yamazaki: No way! I wouldn’t do that.
Heisuke: Huh?! Liar! You peeked at me and Souji-kun in the bath the other day, didn’t you?
[09:20]
Yamazaki: Stop accusing me. It’s not like I wanted to peek. It was just an investigation.
Heisuke: What kind of investigation?! Tell me!
Yamazaki: Oww! Don’t grab my arm! Otherwise…
Yamazaki: Ah…
Heisuke: Huh? What’s that reaction for?
Sano: His masochistic side is awakening!
Sano: Let go, Heisuke. Things will get bad if you don’t.
Yamazaki: Oh? Are you already done? How boring.
Sano: That gives me goosebumps.
Sano: How about putting Yamazaki-san and Okita-san together in a cage for one evening? It’d be interesting to see something scary like that.
Heisuke: Stop that, Sano-san! I don’t even want to think about it.
[10:12]
Heisuke: Ah! The drinks are here.
Heisuke: Oh? There are drinks for us too.
Sano: This is peach juice and the others are alcoholic drinks?
Yamazaki: Yes! I ordered them earlier. I’ve researched everyone’s favourite drinks.
Yamazaki: Alright, this Fuzzy Navel is for you, Toudou-san.
[ Fuzzy Navel = Peach schnapps with orange juice ]
Yamazaki: Yours is a Cassis Mojito, Harada-san.
[ Cassis Mojito = Creme de Cassis, soda, lime and mint leaves ]
Yamazaki: And I’m having a Peach Milk. Hehe.
[ Peach Milk = Peach liqueur with milk ]
Sano: Don’t laugh like that! Ugh…
Heisuke: You completely rejected Yamazaki-san…
Heisuke: Anyway, never mind that. Cheers!
Sano: It’s so strong…
Heisuke: Sweet alcohol really does taste great!
[11:12]
Sano: Why isn’t anyone saying anything?
Heisuke: Ah… What are hosts supposed to talk about anyway?
Yamazaki: Umm… Do you have any hobbies?
Sano: What is this, a marriage meeting?
Yamazaki: Then you talk about something, Harada-san.
Sano: Where do you think people enjoy being cut the most?
Heisuke: What?! You can’t ask a customer that kind of thing!
Sano: Why are you getting so worked up?
Sano: Is this girl your type, Heisuke?
Heisuke: Huh? Well… I guess she’s not bad.
Yamazaki: That’s no good! Don’t let such a youthful and lively man near you! You don’t know when he’s going to get those urges!
Heisuke: I’m not like a stray cat!
Yamazaki: What’s wrong with cats?!
Heisuke: First you get masochistic, then you get angry! It’s too much!
[12:13]
Sano: Even I can’t understand such a changeable mood.
Yamazaki: It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand me. I don’t understand you either.
Heisuke: Well, Sano-san is a unique person…
Sano: What makes me unique?
Yamazaki: What kind of person stabs themselves in the stomach because they think it’s interesting?
Sano: Ah. Well, doesn’t it make you curious? Like how much it hurts or how deep you’d have to cut yourself before you died.
Yamazaki: The value of a wound comes from the person who makes it on you!
Sano: The value of a wound? It’s no good, I don’t understand.
Yamazaki: Was that drink that strong? It seems your head can’t be working properly if you don’t understand.
Sano: Hey, Yamazaki-san. Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got a convenient personality?
[13:08]
Heisuke: Ah, when you look carefully Sano-san’s face certainly is a little red!
Heisuke: So this is enough to make you drunk… Are you a weak drinker just like Souji-kun?
Sano: No. I’m not even drunk.
Sano: Hey. Do I look drunk to you?
Heisuke: Your face is too close! Get away from her!
Sano: Why? I’m a host, so I think this kind of service is necessary.
Sano: Right, will you have a look at my injuries? I’ll let you touch them if you like.
Heisuke: Hey! Don’t take off your clothes!
Heisuke: You really are drunk!
Yamazaki: You can’t take off your clothes! Just because you’ve got a nice body, doesn’t mean you can show it to women!
Heisuke: How do you know he has a nice body?!
Yamazaki: It’s the accomplishment of my investigation!
[14:09]
Sano: Hey. Haven’t you moved a little closer to her than before? Why are you getting close to her so casually?
Heisuke: Huh? Isn’t that just your imagination?
Yamazaki: Not you too, Heisuke! It was a mistake to let her sit next to you. Change places with me!
Heisuke: No! Get Sano-san to change places with you.
Sano: Moving would be annoying, so I’m not going to change places.
Yamazaki: It seems that Harada-san is fond of her too.
Heisuke: Is that so? He’s so expressionless that I couldn’t tell.
Sano: It’s not like that. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Yamazaki: No, I’m sure you’re secretly interested in her. Don’t underestimate my powers of observation!
Sano: Hmm… Then let’s say that I am interested in her. So what? Is there some kind of problem?
Yamazaki: There’s a big problem! I’d feel sorry for her if her admirer was someone with eyes like a dead fish!
[15:11]
Heisuke: Hahaha! Eyes like a dead fish!
Sano: What you just said was pretty hurtful.
Yamazaki: Huh? I’m sorry! I just said it without thinking… Umm…
Sano: Hey. Come here.
Yamazaki: Huh? Ah…
Sano: Just be quiet. Close your eyes.
Yamazaki: Huh? Huh? Okay…
Yamazaki: AHHHH!
Heisuke: That poke was enough to break his forehead!
Sano: If only it’d opened up like the injury you got at the Ikedaya.
Heisuke: No! That really was fatal!
Sano: He’s dead, right?
Heisuke: No! You shouldn’t kill him!
[16:10]
Heisuke: Pull yourself together, Yamazaki-san!
Yamazaki: It worked… What you just did really worked… Thanks to that I’m feeling sober.
Sano: Don’t you like pain?
Yamazaki: I do… But not like that.
Heisuke: He said he likes pain. Creepy…
Sano: Yamazaki-san apparently gets pleasure out of having his arm bitten by someone else.
Yamazaki: You’re wasting your life if you don’t know how good pain is! I wonder why wounds always end up healing. I always think they should remain forever!
Sano: Ah. I just got goosebumps.
Sano: Look, Heisuke.
Heisuke: You don’t have to show me!
Heisuke: Hey! We’ve left the customer all alone, haven’t we?
Heisuke: I’m sorry.
Sano: Ah, your glass is empty. Give it to me. I’ll pour you another drink.
Heisuke: You’re trying to earn points that way…
[17:09]
Yamazaki: I would’ve noticed right away if I was sitting next to her! So change places with me! I can’t agree to things being this way.
Sano: I said I don’t want to.
Yamazaki: Then you change places with me, Heisuke-kun!
Heisuke: Nope.
Yamazaki: In that case…
Heisuke: Don’t tickle me! Hey! Don’t touch me in a strange place! Hey! No!
Hijikata: Why are you lot messing around?
Heisuke: Hijikata-san!
Sano: These two were being silly in front of the customer, Hijikata-san.
Yamazaki: That’s not fair!
Hijikata: Jeez. You’re done now, so go round back.
Heisuke: Huh? Why?
Hijikata: Leaving Souji-kun to work there was no good. We’re changing places.
Yamazaki: I suppose Okita-san isn’t suited to working round back.
Heisuke: Tch. I suppose we don’t have a choice when Hijikata-san is the one giving orders.
Heisuke: See you later then.
Yamazaki: Oh, well. I’ll leave the room for now to sober up.
Heisuke: Make sure you don’t fall for another man.
[18:27]
Hijikata: Why are you still here?
Sano: I didn’t think it was necessary for all three of us to go.
Okita: Hmm? You’re here too, Sano-san?
Okita: Well, I don’t really mind how many of us are here.
Sano: What do you mean by that?
Hijikata: You think we’re no match for you? That’s quite a terrible thing for you to say.
Hijikata: It’s unusual for you to be competitive though. You’re finally concerned about the number of customers that designate you, aren’t you?
Okita: No, I don’t care about that at all. I’ve just been a little interested in this woman since I first set eyes on her. I can’t just watch someone else take her away, can I?
Hijikata: Alright, alright. Anyway, how about we order some drinks for now?
[19:25]
Hijikata: You’ll have what you were drinking earlier, won’t you, Harada?
Sano: I suppose so… I don’t really feel like drinking though.
Okita: Ah, I won’t have anything to drink. But I think you know that already.
Hijikata: Huh? Jeez, you two really don’t understand what a host is.
Hijikata: That’s why you don’t get many customers designating you.
Hijikata: At times like this, you should drink, even if you have to force yourself. That’s what it means to be a man in this world.
Okita: What it means to be a man? Doesn’t it feel uncomfortable being beside someone who’s forcing themselves to drink?
Okita: You think so too, don’t you?
Sano: Hey. Don’t put your face so close to hers.
Okita: You’re jealous? It seems that you’re interested in this woman too.
[20:22]
Sano: So what if I am?
Okita: You’re already drunk, aren’t you? It seems like you can’t even focus your gaze.
Okita: How many fingers am I holding up?
Sano: Are you making fun of me?
Okita: Oh, how scary. Are you angry?
Okita: Hey, what do you think of him? I don’t really like him. You should leave that frightening man alone and fall for someone kind like me. Do you understand?
Hijikata: Hey, Souji! Don’t threaten her.
Hijikata: If you say something like that to her, then all she can do is agree.
Hijikata: Come on, get away from her!
Okita: Ah, you seem strangely desperate. Is there something wrong?
Sano: Is this woman your type too, Toshi-san?
[21:26]
Hijikata: That’s got nothing to do with it.
Hijikata: Anyway, let’s just have something to drink first.
Hijikata: You’re having Kahlua Milk, aren’t you, Souji?
[ Kahlua = Coffee flavoured liqueur ]
Hijikata: I’ll have a gin and tonic.
Hijikata: What about you?
Hijikata: The same as before then?
Hijikata: Hey! Bring us the order.
Hijikata: Alright, it’s here. Cheers.
Hijikata: Ah, that’s good alcohol.
Hijikata: Kondo-san probably made it. The quantities are just right.
[22:23]
Okita: You’re right. It looks like Kondo-san made it weaker for me.
Sano: Mine is a bit strong again. Why are they trying to get me drunk?
Hijikata: They’re probably trying to get you drunk because they haven’t seen you drunk before. What are you like when you’re drunk?
Sano: I’m not much different.
Okita: Really? You seem to be quite against getting drunk though.
Hijikata: Hey, Souji! You’re hardly drinking either.
Hijikata: You call yourself a host?
Okita: I think it’s fine to be a host who doesn’t drink.
Sano: I’ve had enough too. I don’t think I can drink anymore.
Hijikata: Jeez. You really don’t understand the secret to waiting on your customers. It seems that you two need to be trained as hosts.
Okita: He said we need training, Sano-san.
[23:24]
Sano: So it’s our turn to become dogs this time.
Hijikata: How did you know about that?
Okita: Hmm, I wonder how. Woof woof!
Hijikata: That’s not cute.
Hijikata: Anyway, I’m going to teach you how to please customers.
Hijikata: Hey, I don’t think much of saying this to a customer, but will you cooperate for their sake?
Hijikata: They should get the hang of it if we practice it once. You’ll be able to have more fun here too.
Hijikata: Hmm? Alright.
Hijikata: Hey, Souji. First you try and flirt with her.
Okita: Me? That’s not really my style though.
Hijikata: I don’t care about your style. This is training. Do it without complaining.
[24:28]
Okita: Fine. I don’t have a choice.
Okita: Hijikata-san is persistent once he tells you to do something.
Okita: I’m going to the bother of doing this, so make sure you’re happy.
Okita: Do you really think I’m a kind person?
Okita: Yes, that’s right. I told you that I was a kind person.
Okita: But you know the truth, don’t you?
[25:15]
Okita: Men are like the wolf who tricks Red Riding Hood, treating their prey kindly at first. When that person opens their heart to them, they bare their fangs. You’ve realised I’m like that, haven’t you? But you still jump into things, wanting me to like you. You’ve gotten closer to me, and as you wish, I’m going to tease you. If you can put up with that, then I could at least give you a kiss.
Okita: Well, that’s done.
[26:16]
Hijikata: Is there a woman in this world who’d be pleased to hear that?
Sano: Announcing that you’re going to tease someone might make you even worse than an abusive man!
Okita: An abusive man? I wouldn’t punch the woman I love. I’d only tease her.
Sano: Even if you strangle them?
Okita: I can’t help it when I find someone cute.
Hijikata: Can’t help it? Don’t scare the customer.
Hijikata: You really aren’t ready yet. You only think about your own desires.
Sano: I think I can do it.
Okita: Oh? You seem confident.
Okita: Then let me hear you making a woman fall for you.
Hijikata: Do it properly. Make your partner happy. You’ll pass if you can do this.
[27:11]
Sano: Alright.
Sano: Look at me.
Sano: That’s right. You’re interested in me, aren’t you?
Sano: But I won’t know if you don’t say anything. Can you show me by the way you act?
Sano: You don’t know what to do?
Sano: This is what you do.
Sano: Do you understand?
Sano: Now you try it.
Hijikata: Hey.
Okita: What did you just do to her?
Sano: What? I kissed her.
Hijikata: A kiss! What are you doing?!
[28:07]
Okita: That’s unforgivable. Why’d you do that? You haven’t done that to other customers just because you were drunk, have you?
Okita: And why didn’t you avoid it? Are you trying to say you didn’t have a chance? Do you want me to kill you?
Sano: You two are staring really hard. Are you drunk?
Sano: Anyway, wasn’t that the easiest way to do it?
Okita: Were you always that kind of person? Shin-san is influencing you too much!
Sano: It doesn’t matter what you say to me. I’m sure that it doesn’t say anything about kissing a customer in the regulations.
Hijikata: Damn it! Have I underestimated just how wild our hosts are?
Okita: We’ll add it in there right now. Men who suddenly kiss a customer will have to perform seppuku right away.
[ Seppuku = Ritual suicide by disembowelling ]
Hijikata: I agree. I’ll get Kondo-san to add that rule immediately.
Sano: Dying after kissing her would be fine.
Okita: You suicidal creep! Don’t you think it’s unfair to aim to be the most designated host like this?
[29:13]
Sano: I thought that hosts got to the top using unfair means.
Hijikata: That’s enough! I’m done teaching you how to use sweet words with customers!
Sano: So our training is over?
Hijikata: No, not yet! We’re going to cover other ways to capture someone’s heart.
Okita: Other ways? What do you mean?
Hijikata: A masculine performance.
Okita: Huh? I haven’t got anything like that.
Sano: I’ve got an act I can do.
Okita: I haven’t got a choice. If Sano-san is going to do it, then I’ll do something too. But before that, what can you do, Hijikata-san?
Hijikata: Right… I can recite Pi.
Sano: Is that something masculine?
Hijikata: Here I go! 3.14159265358979323846…
[30:17]
Okita: Stop. We get it already.
Hijikata: I’ve hardly said any of it!
Sano: Even if I hear it, I can’t tell whether it’s right or wrong, so it doesn’t matter.
Hijikata: What?
Okita: Well, I’ve remembered one of my special talents, so I’ll go next.
Sano: I can’t imagine what your performance will be.
Okita: This is my act.
Sano: A smartphone?
Okita: Yes. Look at my wonderful input skills.
Hijikata: That’s boring.
Sano: Is that supposed to be amazing?
Okita: I input 60 characters a second. It’s an impossible task. I can reply in ten seconds when I get a message. Don’t you think this kind of thing is important? Well, I normally just tease people and don’t reply.
[31:19]
Hijikata: Souji. I get it.
Okita: So what can you do, Sano-san?
Sano: This is what I can do.
Hijikata: An icepick? What are you going to do with that?
Sano: Watch. I’ll put my fingers on the table like this…
Okita: Ah, a courage test where you keep on stabbing the pick between your fingers.
Okita: That certainly is something masculine, but you’re drunk right now, aren’t you? Will you be able to do it?
Sano: It’ll be easy. Here I go.
Okita: Whoa! That’s scary. It’s dangerous.
Sano: See. I’m not hitting at all.
Hijikata: Hey, he started to speed up.
Okita: Huh?
[32:17]
Hijikata: He’s stabbing himself! You’re stabbing yourself, so stop!
Sano: Well? It’s amazing, right?
Okita: That’s no good at all!
Hijikata: Stop that, you idiot!
Sano: Why’d you stop me?
Hijikata: You looked really serious! You ended up aiming to stab your fingers, didn’t you?
Okita: Just what you’d expect from a berserker! He really is insane.
Hijikata: Look! She’s completely put off.
Sano: That’s strange. I thought it was something masculine.
Okita: I thought what you just did was amazing. I’ve actually got a better opinion of you now.
Sano: I didn’t want to capture your heart.
Hijikata: Let’s change places! At this rate, Wasurena is going to get a bad reputation.
Okita: What? We haven’t finished anything we’ve done.
[33:14]
Sano: That’s right. Anyway, she’s my customer, so don’t make me change places.
Hijikata: Shut up! Go round back and study exactly what a host is! We can’t let her have anymore horrifying experiences.
Okita: Horrifying? That’s cruel.
Okita: Ah, I let my guard down. I’m suddenly feeling sick.
Hijikata: You go and sober up, Souji. Jeez! When did he have something to drink?
Okita: I don’t have a choice then. I’ll leave for now.
Hijikata: Go and do something about your hand, Harada!
Sano: This injury is nothing.
Hijikata: Get Yamazaki to put a tight bandage round it! Go on!
Sano & Okita: Fine.
[34:22]
Hijikata: I’m sorry you had to see something so disgraceful.
Hijikata: You can relax now though. The next hosts will be proper ones.
Hijikata: Hmm? Or would you prefer me on my own?
Hijikata: Your face is all red. You’re an honest woman.
Hijikata: Then I’ll give you some special treatment too.
[35:11]
Shinpachi: Sorry I kept you waiting, Little Bird! I can sit next to you, right?
Saito: I’ll take a place next to you too.
Hijikata: Hey, Saito-kun! Don’t get ahead of me!
Kondo: Isn’t suddenly sitting next down and putting your arm around her too much, Nagakura-kun?
Shinpachi: You can run away if you don’t like it. But I’d be sad if you did.
Saito: Hmm, you haven’t had any alcohol yet, have you?
Shinpachi: Oh, that’s right. That’s no good, Little Bird. You’ve got to relax your mind here.
Shinpachi: Do you prefer red or white wine?
[36:05]
Saito: Red? You’re all alright with having the same, aren’t you?
Saito: Hey, bring some red wine!
Saito: Alright, it’s here. Come on, pick up your glass. I’ll pour some wine for you.
Shinpachi: Our club serves good wine, so I think you’ll feel good getting drunk on it.
Shinpachi: Cheers.
Hijikata: The others did a bad job earlier, but I’m sure the hosts who are here now can entertain you well. To the point that there’ll be competition over which one to designate.
[37:05]
Kondo: Competition? That sounds good. Then how about this? We’ll get her to decide who her favourite host is. Once she chooses, that host will definitely be the one to entertain her from now on.
Saito: I see. On the other hand, if she chooses someone, then the other hosts can’t make a move on her from now on. That’s what it means, doesn’t it?
Hijikata: That’s an interesting idea. If everyone is going to be serious about this, then it’s worth making her fall for me. I’m going to be a serious challenger.
Hijikata: Hey…!
Kondo: What’s the matter, Toshi?
Hijikata: Why are you holding her hand so casually, Saito-kun?
Saito: Her hands seemed to be cold, so I’m sharing my warmth with her.
[38:01]
Shinpachi: Hmm… But isn’t there a better way to warm her up?
Saito: Hmm? How?
Shinpachi: Like this…
Shinpachi: Hey, tell me you love me. Then I’ll spend the night with you.
Kondo: Hey! Her face is all red. What on earth did you say?
Shinpachi: Nothing really. I just raised her temperature a little.
Hijikata: Tch. I’m sitting too far away from her.
Hijikata: Hey, Saito-kun! Change places with me. Shouldn’t you obey your deputy manager?
Saito: Victory comes to those who overthrow their superiors. I hope you understand.
Shinpachi: You’ve gotten desperate. That’s not cool, Hijikata-san. You’ve got to have a more stylish victory. Right?
[39:05]
Kondo: But that certainly is unfair. Why don’t we all change seats after we’ve finished our part?
Shinpachi: Hmm… Alright. I’m done with my part then. It seems like I’ve already captivated her, you see.
Hijikata: You’re amazingly confident. That doesn’t matter.
Hijikata: Alright, Saito-kun is next.
Saito: Okay. We’re all strong competitors here. I hope you’ll give it 100%.
Saito: Could you move away from her, Nagakura-san?
Shinpachi: Okay, okay.
Saito: Hey, you. Have some more wine to drink. There’s no need to be shy.
[40:03]
Saito: It looks like I’m a little drunk too. I don’t know whether it’s because of the wine. It might be because of you.
Saito: Hold out your hand. That’s right.
Saito: Will you become mine? If you say yes, then I’ll accept your feelings completely.
Saito: There’s something you mustn’t forget though. If you say yes, then you should never make me worry. I’m telling you that we can never be apart from each other. If you can do that, then I’ll be able to whisper some special words to you.
[41:07]
Saito: You look as if you can do it. Then I’ll show you something now.
Saito: My bucket is a strong bucket. My neighbour’s bucket is a broken rucket. What do you think?
Shinpachi: Hahaha! Why are you asking that? You were doing so well, so why’d you say a tongue twister all of a sudden? You messed up the words too!
Kondo: Saito-kun’s special talent is saying tongue twisters. He couldn’t say the whole thing properly, which means he’s already feeling drunk.
Hijikata: Hey. Isn’t he getting drunk too quickly?
Shinpachi: I heard that Hajime is an interesting drunk, so I got him to drink a little in the back room.
Hijikata: I see. You’re a pretty terrible guy too.
Kondo: Are you a strong drinker, Nagakura-kun?
[42:03]
Shinpachi: I think I’m pretty good. But I guess I get drunk easily on wine.
Hijikata: I get strangely drunk on wine too. You’re the same too, aren’t you, Kondo-san?
Kondo: That’s right. And now I’ve been working in the back room a lot recently, so it’s been a while since I had something to drink. I think things could get bad if I don’t take it slow.
Saito: Mother Turtle. Child Turtle. Grandchild Turtle. Mother Duck. Child Duck. Grandchild Duck.
I did it perfectly.
Hijikata: You’re still doing that?!
Shinpachi: You’re amazing, Hajime! It’s okay if you get even more drunk! It’s so funny!
Kondo: Hmm? I’m glad that you’re smiling too.
Hijikata: Saito-kun! You’ve done it! The way you did it wasn’t the coolest, but you’ve captured her heart.
Saito: I’m honoured by your compliment. But I can’t believe you’re telling me I’m not that cool…
[43:03]
Kondo: It’s my turn now. Can you change places with me, Nagakura-kun?
Shinpachi: I guess I don’t have a choice. Sorry for leaving you, Little Bird.
Kondo: Oh?
Hijikata: That’s unusual, Kondo-san. Your legs are trembling.
Kondo: It certainly is strange. I don’t usually get drunk this quickly.
Shinpachi: Oh? Now that I look carefully, this is Madeira wine. It’s got a stronger alcohol content than other drinks. I thought it tasted a bit different.
Hijikata: Souji probably did this.
Hijikata: Tch. I didn’t notice the taste because of the gin and tonic I had earlier. Anyway, we’re really going to end up getting drunk at this rate.
Kondo: So I’ve got to make an impression before I get drunk then.
[44:04]
Kondo: I’m finally able to sit next to you, Miss. I left for a while, but I was actually worried that one of the others would catch your eye. I held your hand when I first took you to this seat, didn’t I? I wouldn’t usually do something like that. But it was different in your case. I naturally felt like doing that. Do you understand the meaning of that?
Kondo: That’s right. I’ve been interested in you since I first saw you. I’d be happy if you could feel the same way about me too. How about it?
Shinpachi: Just like expected, it’s pretty normal.
Kondo: Ah… You’re slender and beautiful, just like Kotetsu. It makes me want to touch your cheeks.
[45:08]
Shinpachi: It’s not normal after all!
Kondo: Will you try and touch my Kotetsu? I don’t mind letting you do that.
Hijikata: Where did you get your sword from?!
Kondo: How about it? We’ll put him inbetween you and me, like a sandwich. It’s wonderful, isn’t it? We’re just like a family.
Saito: Whoa… This is the Kotetsu-play everyone talks about.
Kondo: Touching you and Kotetsu with my bare hands feels so special.
Shinpachi: It’s dangerous! Hurry up and put that away, Kondo-san!
Kondo: Hmm? Why? It seems like she’s happy too. Don’t bother me.
Hijikata: She’s not happy at all! No matter how you look at it, she’s afraid!
[46:06]
Kondo: If you’re that insistent, then I don’t have a choice. Shall we continue this another time, when we’re alone?
Shinpachi: What is someone doing with a sword at a host club anyway? Isn’t that against the law?
Saito: That was the first time I’ve seen Kondo-san like that. He seems to be quite drunk. But the first part had kind words which I expected from Kondo-san.
Hijikata: That kind of gap is something pretty advanced.
Shinpachi: It makes you think that there are a lot of different fetishes.
Kondo: Your turn is last, Toshi.
Hijikata: Alright, let’s do this.
Shinpachi: Hmm? What’s the matter?
Shinpachi: Are you quite drunk too, Hijikata-san?
Hijikata: It seems like it.
[47:03]
Saito: That is unusual. Let’s change places then.
Hijikata: You’re looking at me with tearful eyes. You look like you’re expecting something. What do you want me to do? Tell me.
Hijikata: You’re not going to say anything? How polite of you.
Hijikata: It seems that you’re completely unaware that you’re mine. I’m going to have to train you harshly. That’s probably what you want.
Hijikata: Do you want me to love you? Then beg me to do that.
[48:07]
Hijikata: You know what you should say.
Saito: Wheat dust, wheat dust, three wheat dusts. Add one more wheat dust to make it six wheat dusts.
Hijikata: Why did you start saying tongue twisters?!
Saito: Hmm? You said to beg, so I couldn’t help it.
Kondo: I really question why Saito-kun was the one who answered, but I can’t believe he gave a mysterious answer on top of that.
Shinpachi: Anyway, isn’t he completely messing the tongue twisters up?! It’s no good! My stomach is hurting so much I can’t bear it!
Hijikata: My turn was completely ruined! Where did the mood disappear to?!
Shinpachi: Hajime took it all away.
Saito: Hmm? What did I take away?
Hijikata: Never mind. I didn’t make any mistakes, you see. I’m sure she’ll end up choosing me. I don’t need to worry, right?
[49:09]
Hijikata: Alright, everyone’s finished their turn. So all you have to do is choose.
Kondo: I’m sorry, Toshi, but I’m confident that she’ll choose me.
Saito: I don’t think I’m going to lose either.
Shinpachi: Okay, okay. You should all quiet down now. I’m obviously going to be chosen.
Hijikata: So who are you going to choose? Me?
Kondo: It’s me, isn’t it?
Saito: No, it’s me.
Shinpachi: I said it’s me!
Heisuke: Hey! Wait a minute!
Shinpachi: Huh?
Heisuke: Why are you all competing? That’s not fair!
Yamazaki: It’s not fair that we couldn’t take part!
Okita: That’s right! We obediently went away for a while, but I can’t believe you did such an important conversation without us when we’d sobered up. It’s not funny.
[50:07]
Shinpachi: Well, it couldn’t be helped. The result would be obvious if we competed against you guys, who can’t even entertain a customer properly. We just speeded things up.
Heisuke: There’s no way we can agree with that! Give us one more chance!
Yamazaki: We can’t accept you guys winning by default!
Kondo: They’re all the type of kids who don’t listen once they start talking. We don’t have a choice. Let them join in too.
Saito: Fine. It won’t change anything if these three join in. We’ll back down for now.
Okita: Huh? Is it okay for you to leave your seat?
Heisuke: I hate to say this, but there’s a pretty low chance that you’ll to be chosen.
Saito: What?!
Yamazaki: Showing off your special talent backfired, you see. Doesn’t she only have a strange impression of you?
Saito: Really…?
Okita: I’d feel sorry for him, so of course we’ll let him stay. You three hurry and up leave.
[51:10]
Shinpachi: Jeez. Guess I don’t have a choice.
Shinpachi: Oh? Where’s Sano?
Heisuke: Ah, he’s resting round back because he said he’s already done his part.
Heisuke: What on earth did he do?
Okita: He did something unforgivable. It was horrible…
Hijikata: Alright, alright. We’ll go. But don’t make her feel uncomfortable.
Yamazaki: Of course not!
[51:59]
Okita: Alright, I’m going to sit beside you.
Saito: I’ll sit down too then.
Heisuke: Ah, they got ahead of me!
Yamazaki: I didn’t get to sit beside her again! I don’t have a choice. All I can do is use my shinobi skills and get between them somehow.
Heisuke: You often abuse your ability, don’t you, Yamazaki-san?
Okita: There’s no way I’d let you do that. Don’t come over here, Yamazaki-san!
Yamazaki: If I can’t sit beside her, then I have to at least get closer to you.
Okita: You’re so annoying! Why are you trying to squeeze in here?
Heisuke: Huh? That’s not fair! I’m coming too.
Saito: Toudou-san, it’s really tight.
Okita: What on earth is this? It’s creepy!
Yamazaki: Just deal with it for a little while. We want to get close to her too.
[53:04]
Yamazaki: Ah, there’s still some wine left. I really like it. Come on, everyone else have some too.
Okita: I don’t want it! I only just came to my senses again.
Heisuke: It’s alright! Drinking a little will make things more fun.
Heisuke: Ah, it seems like it’s really going to work!
Sano: Work…?
Okita: On what? Well…
Yamazaki: You’re talking about something indecent, aren’t you? I won’t forgive you for doing that in front of a woman!
Heisuke: I’m not talking about that! I said it’s going to help me loosen up a little.
Okita: Oh, you’re unusually motivated, aren’t you? Hmm… If it’s that good, then I’ll have a little too.
[54:08]
Okita: It’s not bad. But my tongue feels like it’s burning.
Yamazaki: If you’re going to drink, then I’m not going to lose either!
Heisuke: Isn’t drinking it all at once dangerous?!
Heisuke: Hey… Why are you staggering, Saito-kun?
Saito: Staggering? That wasn’t my intention.
Yamazaki: This really is strong! I’m going to start saying “nyaa nyaa” again.
Heisuke: You’re too carefree, Yamazaki-san.
Heisuke: Ah, I’m feeling kind of comfortable too.
Okita: You’re all drunk? I think this will be an interesting competition.
Yamazaki: That’s right! We were going to have a competition! All of us should start our appeals!
[55:04]
Saito: In this situation?
Heisuke: Isn’t it more like we’re doing it because of this situation? I’m going to get ahead while you guys are all spacing out.
Heisuke: Alright, I’m gonna start.
Okita: Go on then. I’m just going to watch indifferently.
Heisuke: Hey. I know I look younger than everyone else, but I won’t lose to anyone in terms of dedication.
Heisuke: Do you believe in love at first sight? Until now, I’ve lived my life thinking that it was impossible, but today, for the first time, I realised that it does exist. I can’t help thinking that I ended up working here just so that I could meet you.
[56:14]
Heisuke: Hey. Will you accept me? If I can spend my life with you, then I don’t mind abandoning everything else. I love you. Please stay with me forever.
Heisuke: That’s how I do it. It was pretty embarrassing.
Saito: Seeing you serious is a pretty valuable experience. But please don’t whisper in my ears.
Heisuke: I couldn’t help it! I wasn’t close enough to her.
Okita: It was alright, wasn’t it? It was a childish confession that suits you.
Yamazaki: That’s right! I understood how determined you were.
[57:04]
Heisuke: You guys are just saying whatever was on your mind!
Heisuke: Come on! Who’s next?
Okita: I’ll go next then.
Saito: You look pretty calm about it. I’m looking forward to it.
Okita: Stare~
Yamazaki: Huh? You’re staring at her? I get the feeling I’ve seen this somewhere before.
Heisuke: Wait a minute! This time he’s too close and just seems like a gangster staring someone in the face.
Saito: It seems like he’s looking right past her and glaring at me.
Okita: You’re good at making me angry, aren’t you? The other men are whispering sweet things to you and you’re letting your heart beat faster. You’re probably not thinking about how I feel when I see that.
[58:06]
Okita: You really do make me angry. But don’t think naΓ―ve thoughts like believing I’m jealous. I’m just saying that I don’t like you looking around everywhere else. You love me, don’t you? Then you should show me your loyalty. Think how to do that by yourself. You should be the one who understands my feelings most of all, you see.
Okita: I’m done!
Heisuke: Whoa! You’re always so warped, as usual. The most warped man in Japan!
[59:11]
Okita: Is that supposed to be a compliment?
Yamazaki: I don’t think so…
Saito: That was an insane confession, wasn’t it? It made me shiver.
Okita: There are all different types of love. It doesn’t matter as long as she understands, doesn’t it?
Heisuke: I guess so… But it makes you kinda scared.
Okita: Alright, everyone else have a go then. I think the outcome has already been decided though. I’ll just be taking it easy now.
Yamazaki: Okay! It’s my turn next then!
Saito: It looks like you’re really drunk, Yamazaki-san.
Yamazaki: I’m not drunk at all!
Yamazaki: Well then…
[01:00:00]
Yamazaki: Why have you captured me this much? All your words and actions tear my heart apart. I’m overwhelmed about what an insignificant man I am for wishing that you won’t look at another man. It’s my first time loving someone this much. Will you only love me somehow? If you do, then I promise that I will love you, no matter what. I’ll stay by your side forever.
Saito: I see. Your dependence is pretty clear.
[01:01:04]
Okita: Getting that feeling from your words disgusts me.
Heisuke: Isn’t it okay because he didn’t seem like a stalker?
Yamazaki: What are you talking about? I was making 80% of effort to hold myself back. Running out of ideas from now on would make things boring.
Saito: Okay. I’m the last, aren’t I?
Okita: You were really uncool earlier, so try your best now.
Heisuke: Is it okay if you don’t prepare a bath?
Yamazaki: Will you be okay not going out in the rain?
Saito: I’m fine. I don’t need a bath or the rain.
Saito: Well then, here I go.
[01:01:48]
Saito: Have you been strangely tense for a while because I’m sitting beside you? Now I regret that we’re not alone. If we were alone, I would subdue you and make you mine. I’d kiss you again and again, and run my tongue over your body over and over. You want that too, don’t you? If you want to spend time closer together, then be honest and choose me. I’ll be the place where you belong.
Saito: I think that’s it.
[01:02:52]
Heisuke: Saito-kun! That was no good! Hmm… Wasn’t it kind of perverted?!
Okita: Is that so? I wasn’t listening at all.
Saito: What?!
Yamazaki: Oh? Isn’t that weird? No matter how much I drink, my glass doesn’t get empty.
Heisuke: Yamazaki-san! Haven’t you gotten completely drunk all of a sudden?! How come?!
Okita: How funny! Yamazaki drinks everything in his glass!
Heisuke: It was you, Souji-kun?
Heisuke: You can’t play around getting Yamazaki-san drunk just because you got bored!
Saito: Ignoring other people is no good either.
Okita: There’s no use in me watching other people flirt with her. It’d only make me stressed.
Yamazaki: This wine really is tasty though! You drink more too! You too, Heisuke!
Heisuke: Huh? Alright…
[01:03:55]
Saito: What? Have you decided to play drinking games now?
Saito: Then I’ll take part too.
Okita: I hate that kind of game. Don’t you think the idea that drinking alcohol instantly makes someone a great man should die out?
Heisuke: You don’t drink enough though. Have at least one glass. Come on.
Okita: Well, I’m probably the most sober person here. I’ll go along with you for once.
Saito: I think I could take another 100 glasses.
Heisuke: Are you serious?
Heisuke: Huh? This is pretty strong stuff…
Okita: Right, I’ll use this opportunity…to have a special time with her.
[01:04:50]
Yamazaki: Ah! You can’t get ahead of us, Okita-san! It’s not fair you’re the only one who’s sober!
Heisuke: That’s right! I want to have a proper conversation with her too!
Heisuke: Hey. Will you sneak out somewhere with me?
Saito: Of course the answer is no.
Heisuke: I’m not asking you!
Saito: I see. You were whispering in my ear, so I thought you were asking me.
Heisuke: My position is all wrong! My position!
Heisuke: Damn it! Change places with me already!
Yamazaki: That’s right! Give your place to me, Okita-san!
Okita: Why do you start talking sweet when you’re drunk, Yamazaki-kun? It creeps me out.
Heisuke: Change places! I’m gonna sit next to her!
Yamazaki: No, I am!
Okita: Don’t push me! It’s too hot!
Saito: At this rate, she’ll end up getting crushed.
[01:05:52]
Shinpachi: Alright, alright! What are you guys doing? Playing Oshikura Manju?
[ Oshikura Manju is a simple game where the players gather in a circle, facing outwards and attempt to push one another. The game doesn’t have a definite ending, but is used to get warm instead. ]
Kondo: My goodness. You’re not attending to your customer as hosts at all.
Kondo: Never mind about the competition, go round the back.
Yamazaki: Huh? Why?!
Yamazaki: My part isn’t done yet!
Shinpachi: You haven’t entertained her properly yet.
Shinpachi: I’ll go over there, so you get out.
Okita: You’re going to end up winning?
Okita: Don’t you think that’s a dirty move?
Heisuke: That’s right! There’s a chance for us to be chosen too!
Kondo: At this rate she’ll go home with a misunderstanding of Wasurena. Leave this to Nagakura-kun, the number one host.
Saito: I don’t agree with that, but as it’s Kondo-san’s order, then I suppose there’s no choice.
Shinpachi: They won’t do as I say, so will you take them round back?
Kondo: It seems like I don’t have any other choice.
[01:06:51]
Kondo: Come on, let’s go.
Okita: Alright, Kondo-san.
Heisuke: Kondo-san really is the only one Okita-san listens too.
Shinpachi: Sorry for leaving my seat, Little Bird. Were you lonely without me?
Shinpachi: That’s right. So will you forgive me now?
Shinpachi: You didn’t run away, which means it’s okay for me to think you’re interested.
Shinpachi: I’m going to end up expecting something.
[01:07:47]
Shinpachi: It’s almost time for the club to close. I’m sad about leaving you like this, so why don’t we spend more time together later? I’ll invite you to my room. Of course you understand what will happen to you there, don’t you? I’ll make sure to give you all my affection.
Shinpachi: Well, shall we save that for another time?
Shinpachi: Hey, look at my hand. I’m not holding anything now, but when I turn my hand like this…
Shinpachi: Are you surprised? It was just a little sleight of hand. Will you take this flower?
Shinpachi: It represents my feelings. Do you know the forget-me-not? The flower language is “true love”.
[01:08:55]
Shinpachi: I’m serious. If you don’t believe me, I’ll do anything I can to prove it.
Shinpachi: Even using my body.
Shinpachi: Hey, can I drink a bit more wine? I want to get a bit more drunk. You see, I don’t need to keep my cool, right?
Shinpachi: Hmm?
Kondo: Unfortunately, you’re out of time. It’s almost time for us to close.
Shinpachi: Huh? Wasn’t my turn too short?
Shinpachi: Even though I’m with such a cute girl, you’re saying it’s already closing time.
Shinpachi: Can’t you extend it a little more, Kondo-san?
[01:09:51]
Kondo: I don’t mind extending it, but at this rate the young lady will get too drunk.
Kondo: It’s our responsibility to let her go home while she still feels good.
Shinpachi: I suppose that’s right.
Shinpachi: So when will you come and see me again?
Shinpachi: Tomorrow? The day after that? I don’t want you to say something sad like “soon”.
Shinpachi: Ah, if you don’t have time to come here, then tell me your number. I’ll call you if I feel like hearing your voice.
Hijikata: Stop! She’ll end up returning home even later, so stop talking now.
Shinpachi: Huh? But we were getting to the good part!
Kondo: Time passed by quite quickly, didn’t it? It was over in an instant.
Sano: So we’re going to have her choose someone aren’t we?
[01:10:52]
Sano: Have you made your decision?
Okita: That’s right! Hurry up and say it’s me, so we can finish this.
Heisuke: Huh? Are you trying to take it away like that?
Heisuke: I’m not going to let you.
Yamazaki: She’s going to choose me! Don’t say such selfish things!
Saito: No, it’s going to be me. Because I gave her two confessions, you see.
Kondo: Wait a minute, everyone.
Okita: What is it, Kondo-san?
Kondo: Look. She seems to be troubled.
Kondo: It might have been impossible to ask her to decide in one evening.
Hijikata :Well, I suppose it’d be like that when there are eight people to choose from. We don’t have a choice. Shall we leave the competition for another time?
Yamazaki: That’s all we can do. Well then, I’ll accompany her to her house.
Okita: You say that, but you’re planning to research where she lives and stalk her, aren’t you?
[01:11:50]
Yamazaki :What? N-No way…
Saito: You stuttered! That’s even more suspicious.
Kondo: Hahaha. Anyway, let’s see her off for now. We’ll get a taxi outside the club. But don’t forget this, Miss. It seems that everyone wants you to be theirs. We’ll always be waiting for you, so we’d definitely like you to visit again. Alright?
[01:12:30]
Heisuke: Hmm?
Heisuke: Wait! Yamazaki-san isn’t here!
Heisuke: Hey! Wake up!
Shinpachi: What are you doing, Heisuke?!
Heisuke: Yamazaki isn’t here! I’m sure he’s followed her to her house.
Sano: You’re so noisy… Oh?
Sano: It’s already night? I slept for quite a while.
Shinpachi: Seems like it. I felt like I had a weird dream.
Hijikata: Hey! What are you doing?!
Hijikata: It’s time for dinner now!
Heisuke: Hijikata-san?!
Shinpachi: Ah. You really do look better wearing a kimono.
Hijikata: Huh? What are you talking about?
Sano: It’s nothing.
[01:13:29]
Sano: I’m hungry. Let’s go and eat dinner.
Shinpachi: You’re right.
Shinpachi: Ah, sorry, Little Bird. You came to see us because we were late?
Sano: You really do look best wearing a kimono.
Heisuke: I felt strangely relieved after I saw your face.
Heisuke: You’re right. You don’t suit such an extravagant place.
Hijikata: What are you talking about?
Hijikata: Are you trying to say all three of you had the same dream?
Sano: That’s right.
Shinpachi: Because we’re all good friends, you see.
Heisuke: Come on, let’s eat! What’s for dinner today?
Heisuke: Huh? Fried…
Shinpachi: There’s no way it’d be fried meat!
Heisuke: Huh? What?
Mikucchan
ROFL I’m gonna lose my mind over this tokuten! Thank you, Saki-san!
Saki
You’re welcome! Glad you found it fun π
challedon39
You know, I originally didn’t like this Animate tokuten as much as the Mokuhiroku one, mostly because I had a much harder time understanding it; it just seemed too random. Thanks to your translation, however, I was able to enjoy it more, though it does confirm my original suspicions that the guys were acting more ridiculous than ever. Too bad it was late at night when I read this, because I had to keep quiet in order to keep from waking anyone else up. ^^
Saki
I’m happy my translation helped you enjoy the tokuten! π
Nonny
This CD was an absolute riot from start to finish, thank you so so much for translating it and allowing me to have one of the best laughs I’ve had in months!!
Saki
I had a lot of laughs while translating it too! Happy you enjoyed it π
Anh
Uhm…Mikorin…I think you made a mistake at 53:38. It was Saito, not Sano :)))))))
Yukihito
Thanks for telling me. But I can’t confirm it by checking the audio because I had a problem with my laptop and lost most of my files π