Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa 5

Shinsengumi Mokuhiroku Wasurenagusa 5 – Hijikata Toshizo

CV: Hosoya Yoshimasa

Track 1

It was the first year of the Genji era [1] and we Shinsengumi lived in the midst of that time. Inside the capital where the shogunate had less control, there were a violent crowd of people believed in revering the emperor and expelling any foreigners. We gathered around Kondo-san with loyalty and patriotism in our thoughts so we could control those men. We came all the way to Kyoto to protect the peace that was created by the emperor. I have lived through many battles as the vice captain of the Shinsengumi because of that ideal.

[01:05]
I cut down those who freely cause violence in the name of revering the emperor. For the sake of the shogunate. For the sake of the Shinsengumi. And for the sake of Kondo-san too. I will place my pride and ambition on my sword and continue to wield it. Even if my life comes to an end.

On the 5th of June that year, we had a chance to make the Shinsengumi name known. That was the Ikedaya Affair.

[02:02]
The soldiers of the Sonno Faction planned to set fire to the Imperial Palace and take the emperor to Choshu. We Shinsengumi immediately reported to the officials in Kyoto and gathered at Gion Kaisho [2], in front of Yasaka Shrine [3], then waited for the reinforcements.

But they didn’t appear at the appointed time. We grew impatient and split into two groups, Kondo’s troops and my troops, then began to make our move. We ended up searching around the rice field footpaths which led from the Gion area, where many lawless people were said to have been seen.

[03:06]
Tch. This isn’t the right place? That means they went from the market and along Hiyamachi Street?

We’re done searching here! Let’s find Kondo-san’s troop! Hurry!

That’s the Ikedaya! Hurry!

As I’d expect from Kondo-san, many of them have been dealt with already. Then there’s one job for me to do.

Alright! Take out the survivors! Don’t let anyone escape!

Hah! So you’re leaving already? Do you think you can run from me?

[04:06]
What? Are you afraid now that you’ve seen your friend die?

Tch. You idiot. Only a worthless soldier would turn his back on the enemy!

Come on! Who’s next?

Most of them are down now, hmm?

Hmm? That’s…

Well, well. The men from Aizu and Kuwana [4] are all together.

What do you want? Unfortunately, the Hijikata and Kondo troops have taken control of this area. It’s nothing you need to be troubled with. Please watch the soldiers at work from over there.

[05:17]
Those who deliberately turned up at the last moment don’t have the right to take all the glory. We’re not like those who are concerned with saving face and their own safety. We truly have given up our lives. That is what the Shinsengumi are. We can’t fall behind those who simply wander around taking bribes and carrying a sword which never leaves it sheath. Someday, the Shinsengumi will be one of a kind.

[1] Genji era – An era which began on February 1st, 1864.
[2] Gion Kaisho – A meeting place where cultural events took place, which is best known as the location where the Shinsengumi met before the Ikedaya Affair.
[3] Yasaka Shrine – A Shinto shrine in the Gion district of Kyoto.
[4] Aizu and Kuwana – Two domains that existed during the Edo period.

Track 2

Hmm? A woman?

Saito-kun brought her here? What on earth was he thinking?

She was caught up in the disturbance earlier and her parents were killed?

That kind of thing happens all the time. She’s not a cat or dog. If we keep picking up people like that, they’ll just keep coming.

A dog or cat would at least be useful. I’m saying she might be a spy for Choshu!

Right. I suppose I’ll go and take a look at her.

[01:00]
Her? She looks like a corpse. Something quite frightening must have happened to her.

Hey. Wake up. I’m telling you to wake up.

I’ve got no choice. I suppose I’ll come back tomorrow.

Hey. Keep an eye on this room. One of you in the corridor and one of you outside. It’d be no good if she got up and started looking around the headquarters at night. A talented spy makes their enemy let their guard down. Don’t relax just because she’s a woman.

Tell Saito-kun to come to my room too. I’m going to ask why he brought a stranger into the headquarters.

Honestly! He’s brought trouble here.

[02:03]
Oh well. If she really has no family, we can use her here. If she turns out to be useless, then making her into my dog wouldn’t be a bad idea.

That should help pass the time. She looks harmless. She seems as if she wouldn’t bite.

Track 3

Alright! Next!

What’s the matter? You don’t need to hold back.

Strike me seriously! Let your body remember how to attack!

Next!

You’re backing away! Don’t be afraid! Do you think you’ll be able to fight like that?!

Next!

Hmm?

Hey, you. What are you doing there?

You want to see the vice-captain, Hijikata?

Why do you want to see him? Do you think a stranger like you would be allowed to meet him so easily?

[01:03]
What? You want to know whether you can stay here?

Don’t be silly. A stranger wouldn’t be allowed to stay here that easily.

What? You won’t know until you ask him yourself?

I’m Hijikata. It’s unfortunate that I’m not the kind man you imagined.

What? You’ll do anything to stay here?

Don’t make me laugh.

Why do your hands look like this?

You apparently worked at a restaurant, but your hands look like they belong to a princess! You’ve probably only done a little work.

You’re greatly mistaken if you think we’re just a random gathering of men. This isn’t a place for a girl like you.

[02:03]
You’re getting in the way of practice. The men are distracted when a woman is around! Go away!

Why are you spacing out? Next!

Come in.

I think Kondo-san has already spoken to you, but you’ve been allowed to live at these headquarters. The Shinsengumi has grown quite a lot, you see. The lower ranking members had shared the chores until now, but now we’re quite busy, it might be a good idea to have someone to do these little jobs.

[03:18]
You should be thanking Heisuke. He was the one who came and asked me.

Why are you so happy?

Listen up. This doesn’t mean I trust you. The Shinsengumi headquarters aren’t a place for refuge. We can’t just trust anyone and open up the gates to them. The same goes for those who aren’t soldiers. If you want to stay here, then give up all your naïve thoughts! I won’t go easy on you just because you’re a woman!

Why are you looking like that?

[04:03]
Hey. Are you crying? Why are you doing that? I only told you the truth. No matter what anyone else says, you’ll do as I say. Those are the rules here. If you want to stay, then think how to make me acknowledge you. Understand?

First of all, work hard as a servant.

I’m done talking. Get back to work.

Honestly. This is why women are such a bother. Do they think crying will make people forgive them?

But what a boring woman she was. There was nothing exciting or beautiful about her. Saito-kun could have chosen someone better to pick up.

Oh well. I can’t leave her alone like this now. I should make sure she’s under my control.

Track 4

Alright. That’s all for now. Kondo-san will get confirmation from me by the end of today. I’ll let the other soldiers know tomorrow afternoon. Make preparations with that in mind. Anything else?

Then we’re done. Return to your posts.

Hey. You over there.

I’m talking to you. Bring some tea to my room.

[00:48]
Ah. Come in.

Don’t put it on top of the desk. My notes…

You can’t even carry a single teacup properly?

Saitou-kun and Heisuke complimented you, but I see this is what you’re really like.

You’re nervous in front of me? Are you scared of me?

Hey. You spilled tea on the floor and my clothes. What are you going to do about it?

[01:50]
You’re sorry? You think an apology is enough?

What should you do? Well, well… You can’t understand unless someone tells you?

If you can’t do anything without being told, then you’re just like an animal.

Fine. I’ll tell you if you don’t know. In return for that, you’ll do as I say. Understand?

First… That’s right. Take off my wet clothes.

Why are you looking at me like that? You made a mistake. It’s only natural for you to deal with it.

[02:58]
What’s the matter? Aren’t you going to do as I say? I’m telling you to take off my clothes and dress me. Hurry up. Don’t make me even more angry.

What are you doing? You can’t even help someone get changed? Or is this your first time seeing a man’s body? I can see you’ll have a hard time staying here any longer.

There’ll be plenty of times when you touch or see a man’s body, even if you don’t want it to happen. Are you going to have such an indecent look on your face when you do?

[03:54]
You haven’t? If you don’t think so, then look this way. I’ll tell you what your face looks like. Your cheeks are red and your mouth is open. Your eyes are wet too. A servant girl looking at men with an expression of desire on her face would affect the discipline at the headquarters.

It’s because you’re not used to this? Then just get used to it like this. Or are you dissatisfied with me? What do you think of a man’s body? Even the nape of your neck is red. Your heart is beating fast.

[05:16]
Your expression is even more indecent than before. Are you embarrassed? Or is it actually desire?

Don’t look away. Look this way. Look at me. Don’t run away.

You’re a useless dog. Is doing as you’re told without question the only thing you’re capable of?

It seems that you don’t know how to handle men at all. Your body doesn’t know anything. You’ve probably never considered yourself the subject of men’s desires before. They may be righteous soldiers, but they’re men too. There might be someone who falls in love with you, who is close. There might be someone who desires to see your body. What would you do about that?

[06:50]
You don’t know? Then… You’ll stay with me. You’re my dog. Understand?

What’s your answer?

Good answer.

Go away now!

What is it? You look as if you want to tell me I’m cruel.

You’re the fool who took off my clothes when I asked you to. You believed your master’s words and were punished for the first time.

You really are a dog. A mongrel that hasn’t been trained.

I’ve got no interest in fools, even when they are just dogs. Become a little more intelligent if you want me to acknowledge you.

Track 5

Another misunderstanding? Honestly!

Although fighting in the city is forbidden, there was no choice about getting involved. It’d be easy for experienced soldiers to avoid them. But the new soldiers would get involved in some kind of trouble. This era might be the reason for the struggles within the Shinsengumi.

What’s the matter? Did something happen?

The woman? Ah… What about her?

What? She betrayed us?!

To who?!

A man from the Kaisendon [1] restaurant?!

Alright. Bring her here immediately.

[01:33]
I suspected you of being a spy when you first came here, but I didn’t think you’d get exposed now. Did you let your guard down?

You don’t understand what I’m saying?

Never mind. I’ll tell you. The letter you got from the man who said he was an apprentice at the Kaisendon restaurant was a trap. The soldier summoned by that man was almost dead when he brought to the clinic just now. It was the man you handed the letter to.

You understand what you’ve done, don’t you? I told you before. If an apology were enough, then there wouldn’t be any trouble. When you accepted the letter, I should have let Kondo-san know and asked for his decision. If I had done that, that man wouldn’t be close to death. What do you think the soldier who came to report to me said about you? He said you had betrayed us.

[03:05]
You entered the headquarters, investigated what happens around here and gave information to the Joi. [2]

A misunderstanding? So what?! That doesn’t change the fact your careless behaviour caused this! How are you doing to take responsibility if that man dies?!

This is a serious crime. You understand, don’t you? Outsiders only bring misfortune. It might be better for the troop if I deal with you right now.

What? Are you going to cry for forgiveness again? You’re useless. Unfortunately, I can kill anyone without hesitation, if I’m doing it for the sake of the troop. No matter who they are.

What’s the matter? You can’t think of even one explanation? Or you want me to kill you right now?

[04:40]
How boring. You really are just a foolishly honest woman. No spy would cry right away like this.

Get up. How long are you going to be on your hands and knees like that?

Come on. We’ll go and apologise to Kondo-san. No matter why it happened, you still caused trouble. Kondo-san is the kind of person who’ll understand if you talk to him honestly. I’ll tell the other soldiers later.

Honestly. I imagined you’d do something sooner or later, but…

Come on! Stop crying! If you walk behind me with that face, it’ll be unbearable. This is why women are so bothersome.

You’re more like a child than a woman!

Come on. I’ll go with you.

[06:14]
Hmm? What is it?

You’re thanking me for believing in you?

Hmph. What a thoughtless woman you are. It seems that you only think of things in a way that’s convenient for you. Dealing with trouble in the headquarters is my job. I just want to deal with trouble as soon as possible.

Listen up. Don’t think you can cry for forgiveness just because you’re a woman. I won’t always be able to settle things peacefully either. Don’t make mistakes when I’m watching. When you do, I’ll tie a rope around your neck.

If you don’t want that, then remember this. You won’t get another chance.

Understand?

[07:33]
Who’s there?

You? Why on earth are you…

Hmm? Water and a towel? For me?

Oh. That’s quite thoughtful, even for you. How long have you been there?

You’ve been watching me for a while? Honestly. You’ve got too much free time.

I know we’re only in the garden, but a woman shouldn’t be wandering around at night like this. Are you trying to cause trouble again? Have you already forgotten what just happened?

Hmm? You want to know what happened to the soldier? What’s the point in asking that? You won’t be able to do anything by knowing that.

It’s more important for you to reflect on your actions. Not just you. The soldiers have been letting their guard down recently. I told them to have their doubts when something happens and inform me properly.

[09:00]
He’s fine. He can’t come back to the headquarters yet, but his life isn’t in danger. Kondo-san found a skilled doctor by himself and arranged for his treatment. You should thank Kondo-san too.

Hmm? Have you got some kind of complaint?

Missing out? I am? What are you talking about?

Everyone admires Kondo-san and thinks I’m strict?

Hmph. What’s wrong with that? Our positions are different.

Kondo-san is fine as he is. He’s kind and open minded. He’s an ideal leader who anyone would want to follow. So I need to be a suitable right hand man who can emphasise that.

[10:17]
Because Kondo-san is open-minded, being strict is also necessary. Making sure the crimes of others are punished. An opposite existence that is feared makes Kondo-san seem even more wonderful. The Shinsengumi exists for that reason.

Of course, it’s thanks to the work of Souji, Heisuke, Saito-kun and Yamazaki too.

I suppose you wouldn’t understand. I’ve turned out the way I am now because of the Shinsengumi. The Shinsengumi is the place I belong. I was called a demon and even feared by my family. Someone unnecessary like me doesn’t have any worth.

[11:24]
Beside Kondo-san, I finally found a reason for living. There was not one reason to feel ashamed, although we were looked down upon for being Miburo [3]. Because I had allies and I had an aim. The Shinsengumi is a gathering of those people. Well, it might be meaningless to tell you this though.

I see. You’re alone too.

The soldiers often talk about you.

Ah, it’s nothing bad. They tell me about things like how you sewed up their torn clothes or how good the rice balls they took out with them were. You seem to be of use to the Shinsengumi.

[12:29]
Why do you look so surprised? Do you think I’m lying?

Huh? You didn’t think I’d say something like that? Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t say it to make you happy. You’re not perfect, but you’re doing the best you can. I don’t always see you when you’re working, but when I hear the men talk about you, I understand.

[13:12]
Hmm? You’re grateful to me? Then become better at everything you do. I don’t know about the others, but I’m definitely not satisfied with you yet. If you want to stay here, then do your very best to work. If you want the Shinsengumi to be your place, then have the same spirit as we do. Even if you don’t wield a sword.

It’s late. Go back to your room.

The moon looks beautiful tonight.

[1] Kaisendon – A rice and seafood dish.
[2] Joi faction – A group who supported restoring power to the emperor and expelling foreigners from Japan.
[3] Miburo – The Shinsengumi were originally known as the “Miburo” (Masterless samurai of Mibu). Mibu was the area of Kyoto where they were stationed.

Track 6

Kondo-san. I’m coming in.

Hey, Kondo-san. Honestly, that man… He’s gone out again, hmm?

Where’d he go after calling me here?

Now I’ll never get my work done. The city and the headquarters have been busy lately…

These are…sweets? They’re half eaten and the tea cup is half empty. So he was here recently?

Honestly, he’s always bringing these things in… Now there’s no point in being so strict to the soldiers about following the rules.

I’d like him to be in my position for once.

[01:22]
Hmm? They’re unexpectedly good. The filling is white bean jam, hmm?

What? It’s you! What are you doing here?

Hmm? Kondo-san called you here too?

His clothes? Just put them over there.

Hmm? Why are you staring at me? There’s something on my face?

You’re asking if it’s okay to eat someone else’s sweets without asking?

[02:21]
Shut up! It’s Kondo-san’s fault for calling me here and not being around.

You’re asking if I eat sweets too? I do…sometimes.

What? Don’t laugh! You saw me doing something strange…

Hey. Come here.

Open your mouth.

Just do as I say!

Here. Say “ah”. Alright, you’ve eaten it. Now you’re guilty too.

You think I’m being cruel? What? You were the one who ate it. I only told you to open your mouth.

[03:31]
Kondo-san is a troublesome man for buying these things though.

Hmm? Because it’s the winter solstice? What are you talking about?

Yuzu [1] buns?

Ah… That smell earlier was yuzu.

Come to think of it… These red and white sweets are camellia and daffodil.

I see. They’re quite sophisticated, even though they’re just sweets.

[04:13]
What? I’m not going to say it’s alright. They’re good considering they’re sweets, but we can’t have everyone bringing in luxury things like that. I’m sure something bothersome will happen again.

You think I’m a serious person? I’ve said this several times. This is my duty. Leave me alone.

What? I told you not to laugh! Honestly!

Those buns are better than these. You try one too.

Hmm… They taste good.

[1] Yuzu – A type of citrus fruit. One custom during the winter solstice is putting yuzu into a hot bath.

Track 7

Where’s Kondo-san? Hasn’t anyone seen him?

I can’t believe he disappeared at a time like this!

Hey, you! You were sweeping the garden during the day, weren’t you? Did you see Kondo-san leaving the headquarters?

You didn’t? Honestly! You’re no good when it matters!

Alright. Never mind.

What is it? I haven’t got time to be talking to you. Get back to work.

You’ll look for Kondo-san with me?

Alright. You look around the headquarters and this neighbourhood. If you find Kondo-san or Souji, tell them to come to my room right away.

[01:01]
Listen up. Don’t tell anyone else about this. Not even the captains. Understand?

What should you do if you find Kondo-san or Souji?

Tell them it’s about Sannan.

Ah, it’s you. Someone might see you. Come in.

Are you done helping Souji get ready?

Hmm? A message from Souji?

He’s leaving tomorrow morning.

[02:02]
I see. We didn’t find Kondo-san in the end, but it was a good thing you found Souji. I think you’ve probably already noticed, but Sannan has disappeared. It seems that he is on his way to Edo. I have some idea of the reason why.

He disagreed with the decisions Kondo-san and I made. Although he was with the Shinsengumi, he was a strong supporter of the emperor. His ideas were fundamentally different to ours. All of us knew that.

[03:00]
We also knew something like this would happen. But even among rough people like us, he was compassionate and insightful. We didn’t want to let go of him.

But I can’t believe we’re going to end up causing his death.

Why are you looking like that?

Don’t misunderstand. It’s unforgivable for someone to leave, whether they’re a vice commander or an ordinary soldier. We can’t ignore someone who has broken the rules. Those who should be punished, will be. That’s how the Shinsengumi is.

[04:00]
I’m pretending? Why are you saying such a ridiculous thing?

This isn’t how I really feel? You think that I’m unhappy about losing Sannan?

That’s right. Losing him is a serious setback to the Shinsengumi. He was a capable man. Even if our ideals were different, Sannan Keisuke was necessary to the team. If I regret anything, then it is my inability to use him well!

When did you become the kind of person who could say such arrogant things?

Pretending? My true self? I don’t remember showing that to someone like you!

A foolish woman like you shouldn’t talk as if she knows me! Or do you want to see my true self? Do you want to know what kind of man I am?

Fine. I’ll show you my true self if that’s what you want. Prepare yourself. I may not look like it, but I’m quite persistent.

Track 8

What’s the matter? You seemed so proud, but now you look different.

Did you think that if you kept to my word nothing would happen? You thought you wouldn’t be in danger? How naïve.

Don’t struggle. Stay still. Can’t you understand I’m telling you to stay still?

You’re a disobedient dog. It seems that you need to be punished.

Put out your hands. Just do it.

There’s no need for a dog to act like a human. I’ll tie your hands up so you’ll remember that you’re a dog.

[01:10]
Well? Have you remembered what you are and who your master is?

You still don’t know? I see. Then I’ll give you a collar and tie you to that post. A disobedient dog shouldn’t be allowed to run free, you see.

You look wonderful tied up and wearing a collar. A dog that ignores its master has to be properly trained.

You’re trembling. I like the expression on your face. I’ve wanted to see your face like that since we first met. You look afraid and your face is tense. But you can’t do anything by yourself. Your face is filled with despair. I can’t get enough.

[02:29]
You want me to forgive you? You really don’t understand anything. That makes me even angrier. Remember this. Asking for forgiveness just adds fuel to the fire. It only excites me even more. Or did you do that on purpose?

Hmm? You’re asking me what I’m going to do? Well… I wonder what.

You’re interested in me, aren’t you?

My true self. The way I really am. You want to know me, not the vice captain of the Shinsengumi. Am I wrong?

[03:35]
I see you’re not denying it. Or are you unable to speak in this situation?

In that case, show yourself to me first. Show yourself to me completely. Show me what no one else has seen.

What’s the matter? Come on, look up.

Hmm? Why are you embarrassed?

All I did was touch you while you were still clothed. You’re acting like you were touched by something unclean. But to me you look like you’re asking for more. I’ll take off this cord that’s in the way.

[04:54]
How does it feel for me to see everything?

You’re asking me to stop? What are you talking about? I told you, didn’t I? You’re my dog. And you were the one who tempted me. You want to know about me, don’t you? Am I wrong?

You’re still nervous?

Come on. Don’t look away. Show me your face.

Not bad. A mixture of fear and shame. Yes, this is the expression. It suits you well.

You’ve finally started to cry.

Who told you to look away? Look at me. Don’t make me repeat myself. What are you to me?

Why are you so scared? I might actually be a kind man. See for yourself. Try to reveal who I am.

[06:47]
Your skin is like snow. It stays cold, no matter what. You still don’t know anything yet, but for that reason alone, I want to see your skin warm up. I’ll leave my mark on your body.

That’s right. I’ll gently leave a mark.

Hey. Can you feel that I’m warm? It should feel even warmer because you’re cold. You’re still crying? But that’ll only be for now.

Even if you look at me with that fearful expression now, you’ll come to desire me some day. Not just your body, but your heart too. You’ll be happy about what I’m doing to you.

[08:20]
Your hands will be tied and you won’t have any freedom. You’ll be happy. Your body and heart will become my dog. Understand?

Honestly, I thought you’d be more used to this. Why are you looking at me like that? I told you I might be a kind man.

Are you dissatisfied about something? It’s not as if I did something. Or is having your hands tied not enough?

Come on. Get up. I feel good enough seeing you weep like that. But… Right… When you’re completely my dog, I can loosen the rope around your neck a little.

Track 9

Hey, you! Wait!

What’s that you’re carrying? Where are you going?

What? Is it something you can’t tell me?

Why aren’t you saying anything?

Tch. There are too many people here.

Come on! We’re going back.

[00:54]
Alright. Tell me where you were going.

There’s no point in lying. Tell the truth.

What? Souji asked you to run an errand? Souji brought home the wrong shoes from the clinic?

You were going to return them? Then why didn’t you say that right away?

You were told it’d be bad for someone else to find out? So you went there in secret?

What’s that supposed to mean? I know how Souji is, but you’re different! You knew you’d get told off if you tried to hide something.

Honestly!

[01:58]
Come to think of it, how is Souji?

I see. So he looked a little pale…

I’m sorry, but could you put a heater in his room? It’s going to be cold tonight. You warm up your room too. The chores won’t get done if you catch a cold.

[02:50]
Come in.

Ah. Sorry for the trouble.

Put it over there.

So it snowed all day again? There’s a lot of snow this year. It’s as if winter is never going to end. Even though it’s already March.

I’m sorry about today. I lost my cool when you’d gone and no one knew where you were.

[03:53]
Hmm? You’re asking what’s the matter? I can’t believe you’re worrying about me.

I don’t like it when someone goes away without saying a thing. Not knowing where they’ve gone or if they’re even alive. It’s worse than having someone die in front of you. It stays in your mind and you’re unable to forget.

You’re sorry? It’s no use apologising this time.

Anyway, I’ve got to be strict about warning Souji this time. There are times when he acts like a child.

[04:57]
Hmm? I seem to be quite fond of Souji? I don’t know if that’s the right way of putting it, but he’s like a brother to me. He is acknowledged as a teacher and the captain of the first troop, but he’ll always be a troublesome younger brother to me and Kondo-san.

Oh? You’re asking if I’ve known them a long time? Right… You probably don’t know about this.

[05:48]
When I was still an apprentice, we got to know each other at a dojo called Shieikan [1] in Edo. I also met Harada, Heisuke and Saito-kun there. I was the youngest child in a big family. I was unable to become anything, and for a long time all I did was wander. I wandered during my time at home and even after I left home.

So when I found a place to call my own, it was an irreplaceable happiness. I was a troublesome boy who didn’t think and was called the “thorny brat” but Kondo-san loved me like a real brother. He did the same for Souji, a lonely and dependent boy who always said arrogant things. I’m here now thanks to those two.

[06:59]
You probably wouldn’t understand what I’m trying to say. It’s not your fault. No one would understand. I become like a demon for that sake. There are people like Sannan who go against their will and leave too. But that’s alright. There are others among us who lose control of themselves and turn against the Shinsengumi. If the Shinsengumi is my place, then there’s only one thing for me to do here. Respect the laws and punish those who break them. Cut down those who take vengeance against the Shinsengumi and eliminate them. That’s what I can do to protect the Shinsengumi… Kondo-san and Souji…

[07:55]
Are they important to me? Yes, that’s right. I’d do anything for them.

Because to me they’re real family who can’t be replaced.

Why are you looking at me like that? Have you got some kind of problem?

You don’t? Then look at your face in a mirror. Is it really that strange for me to care about them?

That’s not it? Then what is it?

You envy Kondo-san and Souji? You do? You wish you could have been born as a man so I’d acknowledge you? I was wondering what you’d say… What good is it saying something like that now? You’re a woman. Don’t say such silly things.

[09:10]
Why do you look so upset?

Come here. Just hurry up and come over here.

I told you that you’re my dog. You’ve already become attached to your master and follow him around wherever he goes. You’re not much use, but you’re allowed to stay by his side. You’re my dog.

You should act like a dog and listen to what your master says.

[1] Shieikan – A dojo in Tokyo, where several of the major Shinsengumi members met one another.

Track 10

Kneel down over there. I’m telling you to get down on your hands and knees. Don’t you understand?

What is it? Why do you look so unhappy? Do you think I’ll forgive you if you look pitiful?

You don’t want to do it? I see you won’t listen. A dog should do as their master says.

What’s the matter? Why are you trying to escape? A dog shouldn’t have a sense of shame. Obey me.

[01:06]
What? You’re going to disobey me?

I see. It seems that you haven’t had enough training yet. I don’t have a choice then. I’ll teach you properly.

That’s right. If you were able to do it, then you should have done so from the beginning.

I don’t think that getting on her hands and knees in front of a man is something that an innocent girl should do.

You should know that you have nowhere to run. Come on, put out your hands. That’s right. Good girl.

[02:22]
Your hands are tied and you’re crawling on the ground. You’re just like a dog. How do you feel right now? Tell me.

What’s the matter? Can’t you tell me?

Hmm? What is it? You want me to stop?

I’m in the middle of training you. I let you stop halfway through the other day, but today I won’t let you escape.

You really are cold here too. You hate it that much? When you seem so tense, it actually makes me want to do something.

[03:37]
You have a beautiful back. The place that’s normally hidden by your clothes is particularly beautiful. So I want to expose it even more.

A place that no one else can see. A place that only I know about.

Hmm? What’s the matter?

You don’t like it? Don’t like what?

Your ears? Ah… So this is your weak spot? I haven’t done anything yet.

What? Even my voice makes you feel good?

Here?

[04:55]
What’s that voice? I haven’t heard it before. Then… How about here?

What’s the matter? I told you I haven’t done anything yet.

Come on. What’s the matter? Cry out in a lovelier voice. Come on.

Well? It feels good, doesn’t it? You’re so innocent.

[05:52]
Does it hurt? I suppose it does. At this rate, I’m going to end up biting you.

You’re acting like it hurts, but aren’t you actually enjoying it?

Look this way. Your body feels warmer, doesn’t it? It was cold and tense from fear, but now it’s melting little by little.

Hmm? I’m not lying. When I touch your body like this, I can tell, whether you want me to know or not. You’re slowly melting.

[07:03]
It’s no good hiding it. I understand everything when I’m touching you like this.

I’m sure that your skin is getting warmer. Your heart is beating faster and your desire is slowly showing itself.

Why are you running away? Don’t make me repeat myself.

Are you scared that your body is getting warmer? It’s no good closing your eyes.

Come on. Try to sense me even more.

[08:03]
Hmm? You’re embarrassed? Didn’t I tell you a dog doesn’t need to feel shame? Seeing you hold back your voice and try to bear this really excites me.

Come here. Try and excite me even more. How do you feel right now? Tell me.

You really are a foolish woman. You became a dog of your own will. You’re my faithful dog.

[09:05]
Hey. Look this way.

Where will you go when I undo these ties? You ended up here when you’d lost your relatives and had nowhere to go. If you could live the way you wanted, through your own efforts, without anything holding you back, would you… Would you disappear from my sight?

What’s the matter? Don’t stay quiet. Answer me!

[10:06]
Are these…tears? I’m…crying?

I can’t believe I’d look so pitiful in front of you.

The Shinsengumi. Kondo-san. Souji. The allies I fight alongside. If everything disappears from my sight… If that time comes, I’ll have nothing left. I really will be alone. Where will I go for support when I’ve lost everything?

[11:44]
Are you saying you’ll stay by my side? Right… If someone like you is around, I might be able to distract myself.

It’s strange. At first, I thought you were just an ordinary woman you could find anywhere and I wasn’t interested in you.

Stay by my side. If you do, I can live peacefully for now.

You’ll be my dog forever. My own dog.

Track 11

If you know, you will hesitate. If you do not know, you will not hesitate. [1]

Hmm? Hey, come here. Don’t be so scared when you approach me.

Do you think I’d try and do something in the daytime?

Hmm? You were running an errand for Kondo-san? Are you done now?

I see.

Everyone seems to be out today. They said they were preparing for cherry blossom viewing. It’s been almost a year since you came here.

[01:00]
At first, I was worried about how unreliable you were, but now the chores in the headquarters couldn’t get done without you. The garden looks better too because you’re taking care of it. Before it was full of weeds and no one had touched it.

Hmm? What is it?

A flower? It’s a similar colour to the blue in our uniform.

A forget-me-not, hmm? It’s a beautiful flower.

Hmm? You want to know why it’s growing here? Well, it’s the kind of flower that naturally grows anywhere. There’s no special reason.

[02:05]
I see. So it’s already spring.

What? Is it strange for me to say that kind of thing?

Why do you look so surprised? It’s not as if this hasn’t happened before. Were you really such a slow-witted person?

Nothing can begin if a dog and a master don’t have each other. It seems that I need someone like you.

You unselfishly stay by my side, almost to the point of foolishness, without thinking about what you might gain or lose.

[03:05]
Why are you embarrassed? Don’t get carried away. You’re only in second place. That’s because the Shinsengumi is the place I belong.

But… You’re the next most important thing. You’re even more important than my life. I can’t save the Shinsengumi with my life alone. But I can protect you. Stay beside me forever. You belong to me. I love you.

[04:08]
People and time move on. Nothing stays in one place. Many lives are lost. Many people leave. Even so, this place exists and people gather here. Thinking of that miracle makes it seem foolish to regret that I’ll eventually have to leave. There is one thing I can do – desperately try to live for the present. For my dear friends, Kondo-san and Souji. And for you, the person who is irreplaceable to me.

[1] This is said to be a haiku written by Hijikata. He had a hobby of writing haiku under the pen-name Hogyoku, though it’s said that he wasn’t a particularly good writer.